What my public speaking disasters can teach you about starting a business.
Last week I delivered a lively talk about off-balance sheet accounting to a crowd of a few hundred excited accountants and consultants.
(Please bear with me – there is a point coming. I tell you this not just to impress upon you how rock-and-roll my life is outside of the walls of this website!)
It went pretty well thank you very much. The nerds loved it.
Was I nervous?
Not really. I’ve done this kind of thing many times before. Excited, perhaps.
It hasn’t always been this way though.
Before I had done much public speaking I’d had the vague idea that I might be good at it. I was pretty happy in this belief and didn’t feel a great urge to go out and prove it in the real world by actually doing much of it.
In fact, the thing that sticks in my mind when I look back to the times when I had to speak in public was not the fear of public speaking itself, but rather a sense of not wanting to prove myself wrong by finding out that I was actually a bit rubbish.
During my time at university there would be times when I had to speak in public. I prepared (more or less). I got nervous. I talked. People seemed to enjoy it. I felt relieved. And then I forgot about it all and went to the bar, content in the knowledge that I was a public speaking superstar.
Later, in 2002, I took a job in which I would do much more public speaking. Despite the underwhelming abundance of evidence in my favor, I was pretty confident that I would be brilliant at it.
I prepared extensively for my first talk. I wrote copious notes. I memorized entire paragraphs and phrases. I practiced under my breath on the tube into work.
I was incredibly nervous before the talk. My hands were shaking. I was sweating. I couldn’t keep my legs still.
I stood up and I spoke in front of hundreds of people. It was all a bit of a blur but people seemed to enjoy it. They stared back at me as I spoke with interested looks on their faces. They laughed in all the right places – a bit too much sometimes.
I felt relieved and elated.
I truly was a public speaking rock star! I went to the bar and celebrated my obvious brilliance.
As I spoke more and more, however, I slowly began to make a few new distinctions.
I learned how to structure my talks more effectively. I learned how I could better hold the interest of the crowd with my gaze. I learned that if you don’t prepare, your talk invariably sucks. I learned when to be serious and when to be lighthearted. I learned that sometimes it’s best not to tell my silly jokes all the time.
I could now see that my earlier speaking ability has improved dramatically in the last seven years. And that those very first performances included a lot of room for improvement. I could have structured them much better. I could have told far fewer inappropriate jokes!
Why did it take me so long to make these distinctions?
Because, in the beginning, I was nervous, afraid of looking silly, and looking only for validation that I was awesome.
I didn’t have the awareness to step back and make distinctions about what worked and what didn’t.
This is where it turns into a really tenuous metaphor about your business.
Starting a business can be a bit like this.
In the beginning you can expect to be nervous, anxious and searching for validation that you’re doing the right thing.
At this point, you’ll lack the experience and objectivity to make this distinction.
It’s only after you’ve rolled up your sleeves, gotten busy and made a few mistakes that you can look objectively at what you’re doing and really start to grow.
The important thing in the beginning – and the thing that really separates those who are successful from those who are not – is taking action.
Get on that podium and tell some inappropriate jokes. You’ll figure out the lessons soon enough.
JJ Jalopy.
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Comment by Avery
3 September 2009
The other day I met a girl in the woods while hunting. She looked at me coyly and said she was game.
So I shot her.
Comment by Over 50 Singles Boomer Dating
3 September 2009
Hi JJ,
congrats on the cool public speaking gig, btw, as well!
I completely concur over the idea of preparation! Indeed, there is not having nerves and actually standing in front of an audience and having words come out. And then there is the mastery of content, structure, and engaging your audience!
I’ve been invited to speak at the 12th Annual National JACL (Japanese American) Singles Convention in Las Vegas next month. Indeed, the STRUCTURE of my workshops is essential so it is good for me and REALLY good for them! just like love!
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Single Baby Boomer Dating Success Expert
Comment by Kalpna Patel
4 September 2009
Hi JJ!
You’ve made a couple of excellent points that both people making presentations and starting business should take on board. I think I’m going to use your analogy with my clients! Thanks!
@Avery – LOL!
Kalpna
Comment by Suzie
6 September 2009
Great stuff as usual JJ.
Things always work better when you can take a step back and look at yourself
And I have to say thanks to you, and your post on ways of making money I have re-started my ebay business. I realised how much I enjoyed it last time. Going well! So thank you!
Suzie´s last blog ..Feeling Bliss
Comment by Steve Chambers
7 September 2009
Practice does make perfect, in business and in life. Great metaphor and great story. You have a flair for writing as well as speaking.
Steve
Comment by JJ Jalopy
9 September 2009
@Suzie – Thanks very much! I’m so glad you got your eBay business back up and running. You rock!
@Steve – Cheers mate!
Comment by Darryl Pace
9 September 2009
Awesome parallel drawn between your public speaking and building a business. Great post, JJ.
Health, Fitness for Busy People — Darryl Pace
Darryl Pace´s last blog ..Transforming Your Body Quickly
Comment by Sonya Lenzo
9 September 2009
HI JJ,
Glad to be back…
YOur story is fab as usual.
Sonya Lenzo
websites and rhinestones
Comment by Anthony Lemme
10 September 2009
It is a process. You get more adept and in that can put space around what you are doing and your intentions. That space enables you to make adjustments before and during which is much preferable to after.
Anthony
http://www.anthonylemme.com
Anthony Lemme´s last blog ..Speak Peace with Nonviolent Communication
Comment by JJ Jalopy
10 September 2009
@Sonya – Hey! I’ve missed you! It’s fantastic to have you back. How is Max?!
@Darryl – Thanks bro!
Comment by John Ho
10 September 2009
JJ,
Having taken Kevin Hogan’s Public Speaker’s Course lately, I can relate well to your blog post here.
Preparation is important, but with detailed written notes learnt by rote, the talk can easily become rigid and flat instead of being alive and dynamic.
John Ho
John Ho´s last blog ..“Numerology Expert Says Success In Life & Humantarian for Those Born on 10th September”
Comment by JJ Jalopy
11 September 2009
@April – You make a really good point here. When we start, we’re so worried about not being able to speak that we think that our talk is good if we are eloquent or we don’t vomit halfway through. Once we get over that and start behaving like normal functional human beings talking in front of flots of people then we can really start to explore the other details that make a great talk.
@John – How did the course go? Did Kevin give you one of those wireless clip-on microphones like Britney has?
JJ Jalopy´s last blog ..Your Business Idea Is Not Special.
Comment by Lisa McLellan
11 September 2009
Whoa, you are multi-talented JJ. I am not terrified to speak to a crowd, but it isn’t at the top of my list of favorite past-times!!!
Lisa McLellan
Babysitting Services – Babysitters and Nannies