Small Business Therapy #4 – What if I lose all my money and end up scavenging for food in the trash?
This is the forth article in our small business therapy series. Today we’re talking about overcoming fear of failure. Or rather, the fear of losing all our money, having to scavenge for food in the trash and performing DIY surgery on ourselves with a rusty saw and a bottle of whiskey.
Crikey! It’s that time of the week already!
Relax. Pour yourself a glass of your favorite drink. It’s time to talk about our issues. You and me. In a non-creepy, constructive kind of way, without a sleazy old therapist in site.
- None of this…
Have you ever had thoughts like this?
Aaaarghhh…What if my business all goes horribly, horribly wrong?
Aaaarghhh…What if everyone realizes I’m rubbish at this stuff and laughs me out of business?
Aaaarghhh…What if I have to listen to my Mother telling me that she always knew I should never have quit my job for the REST OF MY LIFE?!
Aaaarghhh…What if I run out of money and I have to scavenge for food in the trash?
Aaaarghhh…What if I can’t afford to feed and clothe my family and it’s all my fault?
Aaaarghhh…What if….
Fear of failure.
It’s a bitch isn’t it?
It ties you down and stops you from doing the things you love, living your dream and being so happy that you do star jumps in the street and give sweets to strangers for no reason other than it makes you smile.
I want those strangers to have those sweets so we’re going to sort this out – as much as we can – by talking through it together.
We’re going to break this topic down into two main fears (although they’re really one and the same).
- The fear of looking silly
- The fear of starving / dying / your whole life falling apart
Last week we covered the first of these. This week we’re dealing with the second – the fear of losing all your money and having everything fall to pieces.
The And-Then-What? game
What are you afraid of?
I’m afraid that my business will fail.
And then what?
I won’t have any money coming in anymore.
And then what?
I’ll run out of money and I’ll get myself in debt and I won’t be able to pay the bills or buy food for my family.
And then what?
My family will leave me. I’ll have to live in a box and scavenge through the trash for food. I’ll probably get gangrene end up having to hack off my legs with a rusty saw.
Oh dear.
And this discussion was supposed to make you feel better…
The truth is that most of us have had a lot of practice at the And-Then-What? game. And we’ve gotten pretty creative at it.
The problem is that the game is often totally debilitating. It paralyzes us.
We all crave comfort and security.
When we have these freak-out sessions we often want to return to whatever is most comfortable and familiar to us.
Maybe it makes you want to pack it all in and return to the day job you hated – the one that paid you a predictable amount of money every two weeks?
Maybe it makes you want to hide under the bed sheets with a bottle of gin and a box of chocolates?
Maybe it makes you want to watch girly movies for days on end until you’re swimming in a pool of your own tears?
Sometimes, though, it scares us into massive action.
Sometimes the fear of financial ruin scares you so much that you work like crazy, utterly terrified, desperately pursuing every lead like a rabid dog.
Massive action is a good thing.
Ruthlessly pursuing leads can be a good thing, if you’re not too creepy about it.
But being utterly terrified is not. Not for your business. Not for your health. Not for your emotional well-being. Not for your family.
Just not cool.
So clearly, neither of these scenarios is ideal.
So what can we do about this?
There’s really only one thing that will help here…
You need a plan.
Not very sexy, I know, but that’s it.
The plan will give you comfort. The plan will be your safety net.
It’ll show you exactly where you are, where you want to be, and what you’ll do if you’re not getting there.
It’ll give you exact steps to take when things aren’t working out the way you intended. Because you’ll have planned for everything, including the very worst case scenario.
The brilliance of the plan is that you can do all your thinking when you’re calm and rational. This way, you don’t have to do any of that tricky thinking stuff when you’re too busy freaking out.
You just need to follow the plan.
What should this plan look like?
Step 1: Where are you now?
- How much money do you need every month?
- What is your financial buffer? How much easily-accessible money to you have right now?
- How long can you survive on your financial buffer, assuming you’re making no money from your business.
Got that?
Now, your answer to 2 and 3 might be zero. Maybe you’re in debt right now. That’s okay. We’re planning for everything.
Step 2: What are you going to right now to meet your needs?
- Do you need to take a part-time job?
- Do you need to do to reduce your expenses? How are you going to do that?
- Do you need to borrow money?
Step 3: Planning for the worst case scenario.
Think of the very worst case scenario, whatever that is for you.
Got it?
Okay. Now you’ll want to do two things:
- Make a plan to take action that will reduce the likelihood of this scenario occurring
- Make a plan of what you will do if it does occur.
As an example… if your worst case scenario is being sued, losing all your assets and having to declare yourself bankrupt, then you’ might want to look at asset protection. (If you’re in the states then my buddy Rob Northrup can help you out with this…)
You’ll also want to write down the actual steps you would take to get yourself back on your feet if this really happened.
You won’t enjoy doing this, but it will give you peace of mind.
Step 4: Scenario building
Think three months into the future.
If your income level is below $X and your financial buffer is below $Y, what exact actions are you going to take?
Do this with a variety of numbers, and be very specific. Remember, the goal is to have a complete action plan you can follow to the letter.
Now think six months into the future and answer the same question.
Now a year.
Now two years.
And you can stop for now. Phew.
How does this make you feel?
How do you feel about sitting down and making a plan like this?
Do you think it will give you peace of mind?
Are you resistant to it? Does it seem like a chore? Something you probably should do, but are reluctant to?
Please do let me know.
I resisted this kind of planning for a long time because I found it uncomfortable to confront the worst case scenario. Having been through this exercise myself and with others I recognize its power.
Peace of mind really is just a tedious planning task away!
JJ Jalopy.
Comment by Avery
18 July 2009
This was very helpful to me. Your posts are always jam-packed with quality information.
Thanks!
Avery
Comment by Pa
19 July 2009
This is a good post JJ with lots of good advice. It’s hard not to smile when I see you expounding the benefits of planning. Pa remembers that not that long ago you didn’t plan anything! It just goes to show the value of knowledge gained through experience.
Pa
Comment by Lynn Lane
19 July 2009
JJ,
I think this post can be added to your Greatest Hits Collection.
The steps are brilliant.
Lynn Lane
http://www.Warriorofsuccess.com
Warrior Of Success Training
Lynn Lane´s last blog ..Resilience & Success
Comment by Duane Cunningham
20 July 2009
Hi JJ,
This is an awesome post on one of the most common reasons people fail to take action!
You hit it right between the eyes
Awesome
Duane
Super-ADVANCED Persuasion Techniques & Influence Training Proven to Quickly Create a Flood of Money?Constantly & Continuously Flowing into YOUR?Bank Account Like the Niagara Falls…?100% GUARANTEED!!
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Comment by JJ Jalopy
20 July 2009
@Lynn, Pa, Avery – Thanks very much for the praise! You make my ego very happy!
Comment by John Ho
20 July 2009
Hi JJ,
Good frame to work for success, getting rid of fear of failure.
Another good one from Super Coach JJ!
John Ho
Numerology Expert Helps Understanding Personality for Better Influence & Persuasion (WordPress Blog)
Comment by David Wood
20 July 2009
An absolutely cracking post J-man.
I do love this series you’re doing here. You have an authentic and human voice. And I think you’re way more of a hippy than you let on. Maybe you don’t even realise it yet?!
I’ll convert you to the the woo woo world soon Mr. Business Consultant Guy!
David Wood´s last blog ..Friendly Turn On
Comment by JJ Jalopy
20 July 2009
@Daune – Thanks. I guess it’s good to punch a subject between the eyes, then?
@David Wood – Thanks for the flattery. To tell you the truth, I’ve always been a bit of a hippy. I didn’t realize I hid it so well! I visited your blog. Interesting. I’ve heard of you guys before. So, basically you teach guys spiritual practices and inner work to help them pick up chicks?! That’s totally awesome. I love it!!
@John – Thanks bud. Best of luck with the writing course. I know you’re going to do great. You’re one of the most dedicated guys I know!
Comment by Darryl Pace
21 July 2009
JJ,
Awesomely cool post, as usual! Hey, here’s how I feel about going through the exercise — it seems like a chore and I don’t want to do it…however, I see it’s worth, so I will do it anyway.
Health, Fitness — Darryl Pace
Fitness Product Review
Darryl Pace´s last blog ..Effective Core Training
Comment by Rob Northrup
21 July 2009
What a great post JJ! I look forward to every one of your emanations….
Rob
Comment by Anthony Lemme
22 July 2009
Excellent work JJ. You hit the nail on the head with so much of that. Failing to plan is planning to fail as they say.
Anthony
http://www.anthonylemme.com
Anthony Lemme´s last blog ..Letting Go: Remembering to Remember
Comment by JJ Jalopy
27 July 2009
@Darryl – Haha… You’re certainly not the only one that resists what’s good for him!!
Comment by JJ Jalopy
27 July 2009
@Rob – Thank you very much my friend. I hope all is well with you. Great to have you stop by!
Comment by JJ Jalopy
27 July 2009
@Anthony – Indeed my friend. Hope all is well with you.