Help! I’m scared of the phone!
Hey there!
Today my writing may look a bit less fun than usual.
This is because Wordpress, the normally very lovely and well-behaved piece of software that runs this blog, is being an ungracious little madam this evening.
I bought her a brand shiny new outfit a few hours ago. (Your I.T. guy might call this upgrading.) And now she’s throwing a tantrum and refusing to come out to show everyone. I think she’s probably just a bit shy. Bless her.
So I’m taking my usual approach to I.T. problems – which is to forget about them for a while, go to bed and hope they work themselves out in the morning all by themselves.
It'll fix itself given enough time…
Yes – sometimes I kid myself that computers are not accountable to cause and effect and logic.
Hey! Maybe Wordpress works by the Law of Attraction! 
Ahem. Moving on…
So I’m writing in this HTML stuff. It confuses me and makes me feel a bit clever all at the same time.
Earlier today, I was talking to a client with a fear of making follow up calls to potential clients.
The dread of making a phone call is something that many of us experience.
You imagine an unpleasant or uncomfortable interaction. Your hands get all sweaty. Your body feels different. You suddenly think of a million other things that you might be able to busy yourself with instead.
Usually this is related to a fear of confrontation.
But sometimes it isn’t. My client was mostly concerned about infringing on other people’s valuable time or the awkwardness of having them explain they were no longer interested. Some people are so damn considerate…
It doesn’t really make a difference why you’re scared and who you’re calling. When it’s one of those calls and the fear, the guilt and the nerves start to creep in, making that call is the last thing on earth you want to do.
Yeah, I can see that. So how can I make it go away?
Well, we might choose to dive into the unconscious patterns that you run, bring awareness to them, and then install some new helpful choices in their place, before sending you packing with a copy of the phone book to go cold-call California starting from A…
But I’ve found that doesn’t work so well through the blogging medium.
And I’d kind of suck at that anyway, to be honest. Lightning bolts and silly hats are more my cup of tea.
(Tea is more my cup of tea too.)
Lovely.
So instead, I’m going to show you a slightly-tree-huggy exercise you can do to feel a bit better about making that call. I learned it from an awesome Yoga teacher I met in Kansas.
Here we go…
Step 1: Breathe deeply. Allow yourself to stop feeling guilty for a while, and sit down content that you don’t need to make that call right now. Not whilst we’re doing this exercise anyway.
Step 2: Get a piece of paper, and write down things you have in common with the person you’re going to call. Think about the things they worry about. Think about the similar hopes and dreams they might have. Think about similar hang-ups they might have.
Step 3: Read through the list, and remind yourself of all the things you, and this other dude(tte) have in common. Talk yourself through it if you like. You might even like to pretend that you’re talking to the other person about it. Or you’re explaining it to a friend.
At some point in this routine, you’ll probably feel a bit of a shift in your thinking, maybe let out a sigh, and realize that now is the time to go and make that call.
If you don’t, and you’re still scared shitless, then it’s probably time to remind yourself that confidence only really grows from pushing through discomfort and fear.
Then try to push yourself to pick up that phone. If you do I’ll give you a big fat Jalopy hug and I’ll tell you that it’ll be easier next time, I promise.
Cool. 
It’s been a bit of a departure from the normal business-talk, but I hope this technique will is useful to you. Try it out. You might feel a little silly talking to yourself, but it’ll work wonders!
Keep on Rockin’ the world!
JJ Jalopy.
Comment by Pam Schulz
12 June 2009
Great advice for a very common problem. I honestly don’t know how salespeople do it day after day. It takes a cast iron stomach and nerves of steel.
Good luck with your Word Press issues. Technology is great WHEN it works like it should!
Pam
Invest in Your Future
Pam Schulz´s last blog ..The Strength of Markets
Comment by Duane Cunningham
12 June 2009
Hey JJ,
Its amazing what feelings a small piece of plastic can have on an otherwise intelligent person!!
It truly amazes me….
Good luck with the upgrade…I just performed mine and it seems to be playing nicely with me
Duane
“Amazing Secrets Discovered Using Cutting Edge Research! Guaranteed To Put Money In Your Pockets, Melt Away Sales Resistance…And Slash Buyers Remorse Almost Overnight!”
Comment by Coach Kalpna
12 June 2009
Great advice JJ!
You’re right, we spend so much time busying ourselves from the actual task at hand that the task soon begins to feel pretty impossible to do. Far better to confront the task and try and understand it from a different perspective.
Can’t wait to hear more useful, practical wisdom!
Kalpna
Coach Kalpna´s last blog ..Anything Is Possible
Comment by JJ Jalopy
12 June 2009
@Pam. Yeah. I wouldn’t like it either. I’m a bit of a phone wimp, myself. We can’t all be superbadass confidence like Duane “The Thunder from Down Under” Cunningham!
@Duane You’re the fearless Thunder from Down Under! The rest of us get scared of the silliest things!
Glad your Wordpress upgrade worked out well. Mine’s still being a little madam. Apparently I just need to re-upgrade. I’ll have a go when I get back from the pub tonight.
@CoachKalpna – Hey Mrs. Jalopy!! Great to have you over on my bloggy blog again. Thanks for your comments. Big Jalopy Squeeze! xxxxx
Comment by John Ho
12 June 2009
JJ & Duane,
Wow, what WordPress Upgrade?
Haven’t we set it on an auto mode already with a plug-in?
Can’t notice anything on my self-hosted WordPress blog.
John Ho
Numerology Expert Helps Understanding Personality for Better Influence & Persuasion (WordPress Blog)
Numerology Expert Birthday Numeroscope (Vox Blog)
Numerology Expert Helps Understanding Personality for Better Influence & Persuasion
John Ho´s last blog ..Numerology Expert Says He’s Taking Kevin Hogan’s Professional Speakers’ eCourse, followed by his Writer’s eCourse
Comment by JJ Jalopy
12 June 2009
@John – Wordpress 2.8 is now available. You should get a message at the top of the screen asking if you want to automatically upgrade.
If you have the automatic upgrade plug-in then they’ll be a link to that too. It’s basically a wizard which guides you through backing up your database, de-activating plug-ins, installing the upgrade and then re-activating your plug-ins. It’s pretty awesome.
Unfortunately there’s something screwy with my editor though. I’m going to try re-installing it and see if that fixes it. Wish me luck!
Comment by Ron Betta
13 June 2009
I liked this. I always knew you were a bit of a hippy!
I missed the pretty pictures. I hope you get that sorted out soon.
That black ring on your front page is terrifying though! What on earth is it supposed to be?!
Comment by Anthony Lemme
13 June 2009
Had a little wordpress wraslin match myself. I like the exercise and the advice to just push through if need be.
Anthony
http://www.anthonylemme.com
The Most Powerful Personal Growth and Mind Development Tool on Earth
Anthony Lemme´s last blog ..We’d Rather Be Ruined Than Change
Comment by Single Boomer Dating Cougar Dating
13 June 2009
WOW, JJ, you are one lucky married husband man indeed! Your Mrs. Jalopy is not only beautiful she is ALSO an intelligent fabulous lady!
mazel tov!
Best regards,
April Braswell
Single Boomer Dating Expert, Relationship Success Coach
Widow Support and Bereavement Counseling Outreach Workshop Orange County, Newport Beach, Huntington Beach, CA
Comment by JJ Jalopy
15 June 2009
@April – Yes. She’s totally yumtastic! And super brainy too! Thanks
Comment by Philip Graves
15 June 2009
Great article JJ.
I’ve already emailed you a response (because I got it in your fabulous eZine).
Thanks
Philip Graves
Consumer Behaviour Expert
author of “The Secret of Selling: How to Sell to Your Customer’s Unconscious Mind”
Comment by JJ Jalopy
15 June 2009
@Philip – Thanks mate. I enjoy the articles on your site, but I’m a little sad that I can’t comment on them and give them the bigging-up they deserve!
Comment by Darryl Pace
15 June 2009
JJ,
Great advice — pushing through the fear. Those phone calls can give the best of ‘em the heebie jeebies. The advice you gave is a practical method of busting through to the next level.
Health, Fitness — Darryl Pace
Fitness Product Review
Darryl Pace´s last blog ..First Bodybuilding Show Experience
Comment by Newport Beach, Widow Support, Bereavement Counseling, Divorce Recovery, Grief Support, Orange County, Huntington Beach, Long Beach, Irvine
22 June 2009
Hi JJ,
I really like the useful resource you provide. Some of Business Executives are more Feelers than Thinkers and indeed the FEELINGS crop up. Just plowing through it without working on our thoughts and beliefs just brings poor results, not what we want.
When indeed, we can more closely relate to our customers, we can have conversations with them that will position us as their trusted adviser and business ally.
Best regards,
April Braswell
Comment by JJ Jalopy
22 June 2009
@April – Yes. When those feelings come up we feel overwhelm and the brain shuts down. Trying to logic our way out of that situation can be very difficult. That’s why we start with a big deep breath to get us back in touch with our body. I’m a big freaking hippy really!
Comment by Lisa McLellan
28 June 2009
NO, NO, NO I won’t do it!!!! I’d rather clean the house than make the call – UGH!!!!!lol great post
Lisa McLellan
Babysitting Services – Babysitters and Nannies