Confidence – What’s holding you back?
Hey!
Wanna know something cool?
Well… I can show you step-by-step, piece-by-piece, how you can build yourself a successful mini-business.
Whether you’re a coach, a consultant, a stay-at-home-mom, a clown, or you want to sell downloadable stuff on the internet – I can show you simple steps that will almost guarantee you success if you follow them. 
I used to think that this made me special.
That was naive.
Anyone can figure that out if they have enough time on their hands. It takes a bit of work to break it down to its constituent parts, but the process is pretty easy:
- Find people who have succeeded in building successful small businesses
- Pay attention to what they did and what they’re still doing
- Figure out the patterns
- Organize into a set of steps / rules / concepts
- Give it all a fancy name like methodology
- Compare and contrast to mainstream business practices
- Make new distinctions, refine, analyze, criticize. (Basically be a bit clever.)
- Ascend to mini business consultancy nirvana.
So yeah. There’s that.
A set of things that you might want to do to make your business rock.
A methodology, if you will.
But… knowing what would be a good thing to do, and actually doing it are two very different things.
So why would someone not do something that they thought was going to skyrocket the fledging business they’re so worried about into the stratosphere of success, glory and unlimited ice-cream?
…
Answer: Because they’re scared.
Because they’re worried they’re not good enough.
Because they think there are a load of people much better at doing whatever it is they do. So really, what’s the point?
Because doing some of the things that they know they should do are not going to be very comfortable, and are not going to be much fun.
Because they’re worried that, if they become really successful, people will recognize us as the charlatans they fear they might be.
Listen. The fact is that, unless you’re a psychopath, you, too, think you suck sometimes.
And if you agree with this then congratulations! You’re not crazy. Or certainly no more so than the rest of us. You can stick around. Help yourself to cake.
Let there be cake!
So… you might have the perfect roadmap. The blueprint to assured success and world domination in your field!
But if you believe your business is going to fail, then it probably will.
If you believe you’re not going to be up to the task, then you probably won’t be.
Successful people focus their efforts where it does the most good. They take accountability for themselves. They ask for help and guidance when they need it. They regularly do things that feel uncomfortable.
All of this takes confidence.
It takes effort to fail at something. And those who have the confidence to focus their efforts in the right place, will succeed.
Confidence is the difference between those who dick about on Twitter all day, and those who get out there and make something happen.
Fine, you say. It’s all very well to write about this from your safe little writing room Mr. Writer Man. But what can we do about it?
Glad you asked.
How about a list? People on the internet love lists, I have heard. Let’s make a list…
- Accept that you’re scared, that you’ll always be scared and that being scared is a totally normal, natural and healthy thing.
- Understand that confidence grows from pushing yourself to do uncomfortable things.
- Realize that you don’t have to be the best in the world. You just have to be You.
- Make a plan to grow your confidence in certain key areas, by increasing your exposure to certain experiences in a controlled way.
Cool.
So what’s the message to take away from all this Mr. Jalopy, Sir?
It’s to be aware. To be a little more conscious about the decisions you make. To be aware of your beliefs and how they might be holding you back. But always to be kind, understanding and patient with yourself.
And to hire an awesome mentor who can work with you on your beliefs and help you make a simple plan to increase your confidence.
And, finally, to stick around on this wonderful blog for some group therapy on our limiting beliefs, coming to your computer screen very very soon!
Have a great evening. I’ll catch up with you later!
JJ Jalopy.
Comment by Don Shepherd
17 June 2009
Wow JJ! good stuff today(and always). Just a couple days ago i was wallowing in self-pity, fear, and several other things i needed a shower for.
So i’m the Central Oregon expert. So what? What makes me so great and why would anyone want to listen to my views? There must be several hundred people that are more expert than i am. So i’ll take a page from your book on world domination and shameless self promotion. I’ll tell the world that i have the best blog on central Oregon filled with amazing photography, breathtaking video and audio that you will listen to again and again!
Thanks for being such a great coach!
Don Shepherd
Central Oregon Camphiker
Comment by Duane Cunningham
17 June 2009
Hey Dude,
Sensational post!
I was just listening to a podcast with Ed Dale about fear and it holding you back from making piles of money on the net
Your spot on dude!
Duane
Discover Secret Persuading Skills that Work Like Magic by Tapping Into the Psychology of the Mind with The Worlds Leading Persuasion Expert Duane Cunningham!
“Amazing Secrets Discovered Using Cutting Edge Research! Guaranteed To Put Money In Your Pockets, Melt Away Sales Resistance…And Slash Buyers Remorse Almost Overnight!”
Comment by Darryl Pace
17 June 2009
JJ,
Super post, man! Yeah, fear is something we all deal with, and is something we all have to confront if we are going to do something extraordinary, or just outside of our comfort zone.
Health, Fitness — Darryl Pace
Fitness Product Review
Darryl Pace´s last blog ..What Kind of Glycemic Index Make You Crash and Burn?
Comment by Pam Schulz
19 June 2009
Great post today JJ – Love your lists and your advice. It’s beginning to make the prospect of selling less scary!
Pam
Invest in Your Future
Pam Schulz´s last blog ..The Strength of Markets
Comment by John Ho
19 June 2009
JJ,
Another awesome post!
Knowledge itself is insert. Its power lies within its applications.
Suppose if I only knew a pathetic 10% in Pure Numerology, yet I could transferred that 10% in total to people who learned from me AND they could apply that knowledge 100%, I would be much better than the other expert who knew 90% of all there was but who was unable to transfer that knowledge and or inspired those around to use it effectively.
John Ho
Numerology Expert Helps Understanding Personality for Better Influence & Persuasion (WordPress Blog)
Numerology Expert Birthday Numeroscope (Vox Blog)
Numerology Expert Helps Understanding Personality for Better Influence & Persuasion (Money Page)
John Ho´s last blog ..“Numerology Expert Puts Copyright into Whatever He Writes From Now On”
Comment by JJ Jalopy
19 June 2009
@Don – We’re all allowed to throw a pity party occasionally! God knows I do it.
You know what Don? You do have the best blog on Central Oregon. I defy anyone to read your words, look at those beautiful photos, and not want to go visit!
@Duane – Piles of money sounds awesome. Let’s go do it. I’m gonna fill a bathtub with green and go sit in it!
@Darryl – Thanks dude. Always a pleasure.
@Pam – Thanks Pam. I used to find the idea of selling something really icky. Like I was begging or something. It really helps to re-frame it as helping people find a cool thing that will help them. Of course, you need a cool thing to do that. And you do. Rod’s writing is awesome.
@John – Great point John. It’s all in the application of the knowledge you have. That’s comforting for all of us non-gurus, I think. You rock!
Comment by Newport Beach, Widow Support, Bereavement Counseling, Divorce Recovery, Grief Support, Orange County, Huntington Beach, Long Beach, Irvine
22 June 2009
Woah, you had me transfixed over the pix of the super wonderful fabulous piece of Chocolate Cake! (how to grab any woman’s attention, quickly!)
I like the image of piles of money, I’m envisioning 100 dollar (USD) bills. Like in the movie, Indecent Proposal: rolling in the piles of bills on my gloriously large bed!
Very sensorial! (apparently I’m misspelling that, but I’ll live. You get my meaning.)
The more senses we positively engage, the better!
Keep on rockin’ on, UK dude!
Best regards,
April Braswell
Single Boomer Dating Expert, Relationship Success Coach
Widow Support and Bereavement Counseling Outreach Workshop Orange County, Newport Beach, Huntington Beach, CA
Newport Beach, Huntington Beach, Orange County, Website Marketing, Web Design, SEO, Social Media Marketing
Comment by JJ Jalopy
22 June 2009
@April – I would love to bathe in money. Wouldn’t that be cool? Just roll around in it and chuck it about?!!
Awesome.
Comment by Lisa McLellan
28 June 2009
I do know all the things I need to do to be successful, but as you said knowing what to do and actually doing it are two totally different things. I used to have lots of time to work on my site or blog after the kids went to bed when I was babysitting. But now, many of the children have gotten older and get to stay up much longer. Now most of my babysitting episodes include a lot more playing with toys rather than working on Baby Sitting World.
Lisa McLellan
Babysitting Services – Babysitters and Nannies