How to Become a Better Writer

Hi there!

Mrs. Jalopy and I are back home after a fantastic weekend in the Welsh Countryside watching our friends Paul and Geraldine get married. It was a beautiful ceremony and a fun party.

And it’s good to be back home.

This week is going to be fun because my twin brother is visiting from San Francisco. Maybe I’ll try to get him in front of the man cave webcam so you can marvel at genetic cloning in the flesh…

How to Become a Better Writer

Earlier today I was reading a post on the Copyblogger website called 73 Ways to Become a Better Writer.

It’s an excellent list of suggestions, but I thought I’d come up with some of my own.

• Write a little every day.
• Tell people that you’re A Writer. Harness the power of identity.
• Read your writing aloud. Rework anything that sounds clunky.
• Carry a notebook around. Even if you don’t write anything in it, having it will make you feel Writerly.
• Take time each day to drink tea and ponder. Wear corduroy pants for extra bonus points.
• Read www.jjjalopy.com everyday, even if I haven’t bothered to post anything in a while.
• Rework old writing to make it better.
• Rewrite other people’s writing in your own voice. (Don’t publish it though. That’s called plagiarism.)
• Blog. Consistently.
• Edit out all the unnecessary stuff. Except if it’s really funny. Or it features MC Hammer (big on Twitter), legendary white rapper Vanilla Ice (used to date Madonna) or Kriss Kross (the teenage rap duo famous for wearing their clothes backwards.)
• Be authentic. Unless you’re really dull, in which case you might want to pretend to be interesting for a while.
• Review your own writing critically.
• Ask for feedback and listen to it.
• And above all… keep writing.

Have fun!

JJ Jalopy.

How to Write Blog Posts Really Quickly

I get a lot of questions about writing.

Whilst I’d love it if people were asking about my concise, conversational and hilarious writing style…

…usually the questions are along the lines of:

How do you manage to write so much?

How do you write so quickly?

How do you keep coming up with ideas every day?

We’ve spoken before about how to write a super crazy awesome blog post.

Today I’m going to talk about how to write one quickly.

Six steps to Writing Blog Posts Really Quickly

1. Start before you start writing.

You don’t want to sit down in front of a blank screen with a blank mind.

If you find yourself in this position then set the intention of coming up with a great idea for an article, and then go and do something completely different. Go for a walk, sit in the jacuzzi with a beer, give the dog a haircut. Whatever you like. Just get away from the computer screen and do something else for a while.

Soon, a rather wonderful thing will happen. Ideas will spring into your mind as if from nowhere. This might appear magical but it’s really just the way your subconscious mind works. (Probably. Ask someone clever for proof.)

You’ll soon start to consciously think these ideas through in your mind. Maybe bits of dialogue or a great story or metaphor will appear. Maybe you’ll start to flesh out the structure of your argument. Maybe you’ll just come up with a really great topic.

Either way, now you have material.

It’s time to grab a pen and paper and…

2. Make an outline

You’ve got all these ideas swilling around inside your head. Now is time to get them out of your head and onto paper.

Make a rough outline of what you want to cover in your post, in whatever format you like.

I draw mind map-like doodles. You might prefer bullet points. Do what you dig.

Now we’re ready to write, but first…

3. Remove all distractions

I am so easily distracted it’s silly. I’m like a magpie in a jewelry store. A child in a candy store. A tired metaphor in a tired metaphor store.

I’ll be halfway through writing and then feel the urge to go and tell Mrs. Jalopy a funny story for the day. Or I’ll feel the urge to check my email. Or look at how many people replied to me on Twitter. Or check the number of new subscribers I got. Or…

You get the picture.

So if I’m going to write something good, I need to make sure that I’m not going to be distracted for the next twenty minutes.

Maybe you need to shut the door to your office for next twenty minutes? Maybe, like me, you need to write your posts on an editor which takes over your entire screen, removing all possible computer-based distractions?

All distractions removed? Good, now…

3. Start with whatever excites you the most

Now you’re ready to start writing. And we want to start with a BANG!

Sometimes you might have some great ideas but you’re feeling anxious because you’re not sure how to start.

You want to start with whatever excites you the most. Not necessarily at the start.

Maybe you’ve got a really great story that you want to tell. Just thinking about it makes you smile.

Start with that. Get excited! Get fired up! You’ll build up momentum for the rest of the piece.

Sometimes you might have a really great first sentence in my mind. In this case, the start is the place to start!

Once you’re in flow and you feel the excitement, keep writing. Structure is important, but emotion is more so. You can tidy things up later on…

4. Drop anything that doesn’t work

Don’t be a slave to your outline.

You’re writing, you’re in the zone, and some of the items in your outline don’t seem to work anymore?

Drop them. They won’t mind.

5. Don’t be tempted to save good stuff for later

As a blogger, sometimes you might worry that you’re going to run out of ideas.

It can be tempting to want to hoard ideas for future posts. Don’t do this at the expense of the post you’re writing now.

There will always be more ideas, so make this post the best you can.

6. Get it finished!

If you’re anything like me, then you’re never going to be 100% happy with anything you write.

There will always be a better adjective. There will always be a wittier way to make that point. There will always be a more thought-provoking question to finish with.

Learn to accept that good enough is good enough.

Press the Publish button, make yourself a cup of tea, and celebrate a job well done.

JJ Jalopy.

P.S. I have officially decided that this post is linkbait. That means that it’s a brilliantly bite-sized piece of shareable web-fodder. So, here’s what you do… Link to it from your blogs. Tell your friends about it on Twitter or Facebook. Digg it. Stumble it. Do all that other stuff that web people like some much. Your friends will love you for it. They’ll think you’re brilliant. Because you are.

Other Blogs that Rock!

Greetings from Monte Carlo! Or is it Monaco?

I’m in one or other of them. I’ve had a few beers and I’m not really sure of the difference.

I’ll ask the nearest clever looking Monacan. (Wow – Spell Check actually thinks that’s a word. Cool!)

I think he’ll tell me that Monaco is a country, whilst Monte Carlo is a town or district….

What I will tell you is that it’s beautiful, hot and sunny and that I’ve just won 20 Euros on Roulette.

The drinks are on me!!

Now… obviously we both know that this blog is the greatest blog in the world.

That’ a given.

But there are a other blogs that rock too. And today, before I head back to the bar to meet my rather exhuberant friends, I’m going to introduce you to a few of them.

But here’s the deal. I don’t want you reading these blogs, falling in love with their charistmatic writers, and forgetting all about me, leaving me sad and alone with no-one to hear my hystrionics.

No. Instead, you are going to go read these blogs, fall in love with their charismatic writers and think I rock even more for introducing you to such luxurious internet awesomeness.

Do we have a deal?

Good.

Now without further ado… let’s go.

My favorite blogs about writing, blogging and stuff

Copyblogger

This is one of those blogs that is so good that it makes me feel totally inadequate every time I visit.

It’s all about copywriting: the art of writing in a strategic, persuasive and compelling manner so that people will take action.

If you have a business on the internet then you should inhale this website. Eat it for dinner every day.

You’ll soon get more traffic, more subscribers, more sales and more money.

It’s so good it makes me sick.

Men with Pens

A brilliantly named website which is to receive its fair share of visitors looking for something  else altogether…

These guys are writers, freelancers, designers and entrepreneurs.

You’ll learn a lot from them.

ProBlogger

ProBlogger, by Darren Rowse, is the best resource on the internet about blogging, bar none.

Everything you ever need is here.

My favorite blogs about marketing and consumer behavior

Seth Godin’s Blog

Seth Godin is a marketing genius. His blog rocks too.

He dispenses bite size nuggets of insight which are both tasty, nurtitious and make you tons of money. Cool.

The Pyschology of Shopping

Learn all about why you buy what you buy.

Philip Graves, the writer of this blog, is probably the cleverest man in the world.

He has an awesome accent too. Check out the video on his front page.

My favorite blogs about sales and stuff

The Sales Eagles

No nonsense sales advice from two no-nonsense guys, Steve Chambers and Rob Northrup.

Go here for strategies that work.

Check out their personal blogs too. Click on their names to visit.

Duane Cunningham

Regular readers will know Duane. He’s into persuasion and sales.

I think he hawks timeshare for a living, but we don’t like to talk about that.

You go here for straight-talking inspiration. His blog posts are a blast. But be warned… Duane has a bizarre center alignment fetish.

My favourite coaching blog

A Daring Adventure

Tim Brownson is a British Life Coach, living in Florida.

His hilarious blog is full of advice that will help anyone to have a more awesome life.

My favorite blogs about health, meditation and general hippy stuff

Functional Solutions for Living

Anthony is my new health and meditation coach. His writing and inisghts kick butt.

He’s like a Zen Master you could go for a beer with.

DarrylPace.com

Darryl is an awesome dude.

If you want to lose weight, or you want to get totally stacked, then Darryl is your man.

John Ho’s Blog

John does a daily numeroscope.

It’s like a daily horoscope, but with numbers. It’s incredibly entertaining and John is a great guy.

I think Numerology is a load of rubbish, but I love John’s blog!

My favourte blogs about personal development, productivity etc…

Rock your Day

The writer of this blog, Dave Navarro, does not play guitar in Jane’s Addiction.

But he is one of the most productive people in the world. He’s fun too.

Go to his blog and you can learn to be productive and fun too.

KevinHogan.com

Kevin’s website isn’t really a blog, but it is updated with new articles every week and it’s very very good.

It looks like your dog chewed the pages of wikipedia and spat it out all over your screen. But the content is absolutely fantastic.

If you model Kevin’s dedication and work-ethic you’ll be running the world in a few years.

Warrior of Success

Lynn Lane is a gentle warrior.

He’s a great guy and he can help you lead a more purposeful life.

My favorite blog about dating and relationships

April Braswell

April is the nicest lady in the world.

If you follow her advice then you will be innundated with more love and great sex than you could possibly handle. You’ll have to give it away or get more storage or something.

That’s a guarantee.

My favorite pointless blog that amuses me

Men who look like old lesbians

Hmmm….

This is self explanatory, really.

The “this has taken bloody ages and I need to get back to the bar” list

(These are just as good as the others. They’re only down here because I’m tired of typing…)

Great Wealth – Become rich through statistics and economics.

www.donshepherd.me – Awesome photography

Neuro Performance and Health – Hippy health stuff

The Wind in Your Vagina – Hilarious DaddyBlog.

Urban Monk – Chilled out personal development

I know I’ve missed some really awsome blogs here.

If you’re reading and you have an awesome blog and I’ve missed you out of my list, then I’m very sorry.

It’s probably not because I don’t love your blog. It’s probably because I’m a bit tipsy!

Gotta dash…

Happy reading!

JJ Jalopy.

The 5 most popular blog posts in the world. Why you loved them. And other learnings.

One of cool things about doing business online is that you can measure and analyze nearly every aspect of your business.

Being a Physics graduate and uber-nerd, this kind of thing makes me very excited.

So, if you were to say:

JJ. What are your 5 most read blog posts? And why do you think they were more popular than the others?

…then I would say…

#5 – 10 Simple Things That Will Immediately Increase Your Quality of Life

What is it? And why will you like it?

It’s an light-hearted list of 10 easily applicable things you could do right now to make your life rock a little more.

It’s amusing and (a little bit) helpful.

Why was it popular?

People love lists because they can scan them. Many of the most popular posts on the internet are in the format of a list.

Many of my posts go on and on and on and on.

This one doesn’t. It’s a nice bite size piece of internet fun.

I hawked it around Twitter a little bit and it got re-tweeted a few times. (That means that other people liked it and sent the link to their friends.)

Why did it do for me?

Yes. Thank you for asking.

I picked up 10 more RSS subscribers and 4 V.I.P. e-mail subscribers the day this post was published.

It helped to reinforce my brand message that learning should be fun.

#4 – How to Market Test your Business Idea in Under Ten Minutes

What is it? And why will you like it?

It’s a veritable Market Testing Kit in a box.

It’s a 7 minute video.

A slice of earth shattering value.

If you have an idea for an online business, run it through these tests. If it comes out the other side with 5 yeses then your idea has a great chance of being profitable.

If you do the things in the video, I’ll be expecting lots of praise and adulation when you make your first million. Thanks.

Why was it popular?

Because it’s bloody brilliant.

Because it’s a video. Lots of people like video on the internet. (I’d much rather read than watch video, to be honest.)

It got Dugg a few times. (That means people told other people it was awesome on the website Digg.com).

It was promoted on Twitter and Facebook. (Thanks everyone!)

I also flogged it to death in my Jalopy Gang V.I.P. Newsletter.

What did it do for me?

People got to see me and hear my funny accent.

I got the opportunity to connect with them in a new and powerful way. This is important.

It brought in a small amount of new traffic to my website from Digg and YouTube.

It reinforced my core brand theme of giving massive value. Gosh, I’m generous.

#3 - How to Write a Super Crazy Awesome Blog Post

What is it? And why will you like it?

It’s a how-to guide to writing blog posts which people will actually read and enjoy.

Why was it popular?

It’s a How-To guide. These are great blog fodder.

It has a good title, which explains exactly what it’s about and describes the tone of the piece.

This knocked about on Twitter a little bit. Some people thought it was funny and useful. Others thought it was an opinionated, naive and one-sided account of blogging. (I agree.) All attention is good attention in terms of generating new visitors.

Many of my readers are bloggers themselves. A few readers sent a link to this post to their friends and family.

This post was as viral as I’ve been in the last two months…

What did it do for me?

It brought me new fans – people who still read the blog today. (Hi there! Looking good!)

It reinforced my core brand themes of making learning fun and giving massive value.

I’d only written about ten blog posts at the point I wrote this. Acknowledging this in the post, I set myself up as an apologetic authority.

#2 – An Important Decision to be Made

What is it? And why will you like it?

It’s a challenge to bring yourself fully to the decisions you make in life – in particular your decision to start your own business, or not.

Why was it popular?

It underpins everything we talk about here.

It was the second most popular post on the site, despite having a really sucky title.

The reason? As one of my first and my most commented post, a link to it was always available from the front page of the website. (I have since removed this link.) This shows how effectively you can guide people to the content you want them to see.

What did it do for me?

It introduced my own personal story. It set the tone for the rest of the blog and helped to set the foundations for the brand.

#1 – How to fix your visual editor after a Wordpress 2.8 upgrade

What is it? And why will you like it?

Hmmm…. It’s a nerdtastic guide to fixing a common bug in a common piece of blog software. It has computer code in it and everything.

I don’t even understand half of it.

Why was it popular?

Lots of bloggers recently upgraded their Wordpress software to version 2.8 and encountered a problem with their visual editor.

I posted this on the day after the upgrade was released. I have been the second most popular google search result for Wordpress 2.8 Visual Editor for the last week and a half. This brings me a lot of traffic.

What did it do for me?

It wasn’t really… It was an interesting experiment in search engine optimization, but that’s about it.

It’s not impossible that, rather than fixing their problem, one of these visitors will stick around on my blog, realize it rocks and become a raving fan.

But it is unlikely.

It’s cool to look at the visitor graphs though!

Hope you enjoyed that little journey.

See you soon!

JJ Jalopy.

Things that make you look like an idiot!

I’m the kind of egomaniac who reads over his post archive to laugh at his own jokes.

In fact, it was this very act that prompted me to come and talk to you.

I’d been reading a fantastic article I’d written earlier in the week about the limiting beliefs we have about marketing.

Gosh, I thought to myself. Isn’t this a wonderfully informative, enjoyable and light-hearted read? This guy is just like me. It’s great to feel so understood.

And then I read this: (emphasis added for the benefit of our little conversation here)

You know that the thing that your selling rocks. So go tell people about it. Spread the love. Spread the happy. Change lives. Change the bloody world!

This guy’s an idiot, I thought.

Now I despise grammatical elitism as much as the next person with something more important to worry about.  But some things just make you look dumb.

So yes, I am fickle. Yes, I am judgmental.

And this would be fine if I were the only judgmental asshole in the world.

Unfortunately, I’m not.

Most people who understand that your and you’re mean two different things will think less of you if it appears that you don’t. Not in a moral kind of way, of course, but certainly in an is-this-person-clever-enough-to-teach-me-stuff kind of way…

And that’s not ideal when you’re in the business of dispensing wisdom.

Have you heard of the term hygiene factor? It was coined by a dude named Frederick Herzberg, a psychologist who made his name in business management. He was interested in what motivates an employee.

He came up with the idea of a hygiene factor – something that causes dissatisfaction when missing, but does not increase satisfaction when present. Just as washing your hands stops you from getting horribly ill, but does not necessarily fill you with youthful vitality and joy!

In your company communication, the quality of your spelling and grammar is a hygiene factor.

You’re not going to win anyone over with your perfectly concise sentence construction.

No-one is going to fall in love with you because you use big fancy words or know where to put a semicolon.

But they might think you’re a bit dumb if you get its and it’s all muddled up.

We all make mistakes. I generally write late at night and I write very quickly. I don’t rework much of my writing and I don’t proofread as thoroughly as I might. The seductive call of my bed is generally more attractive to me than the idea of reading through something I’ve already read, however fantastic and hilarious it might be.

But I will be proofreading more carefully in future.

Whether you like it not, people will judge. So have a little think your business. What things are damaging your customers’ perception of you or your brand?

Do you, for example, have a blank About Me page?

Why?!

Why, oh why?

Do you realize how bad that looks?

Clean it up! Sort it out!

See you tomorrow.

JJ Jalopy.

P.S. Please kick my butt if I haven’t sorted that About Me page out soon!

SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION EXTREME!

Hey there!

I’m back!!

I’ve missed you. It seems like such a long time since we last spoke.

I have a vague recollection of talking to you yesterday, but I’m pretty sure my heart and mind were tucked up in bed at the time.

I’m pretty psyched because I’ve just finished off a brilliant article about delegation and outsourcing for my Jalopy Gang V.I.P.s.

I know it sounds incredibly unsexy, but it really is rather wonderful.

I give you instantly applicable strategies that you can use to master that big long list of things that you have to do, by borrowing other people’s time. And, if like me, you’re a massive prima-donna control freak who can’t stand the idea of relinquishing control of your baby business to someone else, let alone paying them for the privilege, then we’ll tackle that too.

Yep, it’s bloody brilliant. And it’ll be hitting your email box shortly.

 

 

You have about four hours to sign-up below if you don’t want to miss out on this, and other valuable greatness. Do it. I love your email box. It’s my favorite. And I’d love to hang out there more.

Right.

See you in a bit!

Okay, okay. You want a teaser. I thought you might.

Here you go…

 

So you have a to-do list as long as your arm…

…and you only have so much time in the day.

We all do.

No-one has a monopoly on time. It’s the one thing that we all have the same amount of, every single day.

So if we all have the same amount of time available to us, then how is it that some of us manage to invent bagless hoovers, wind-up radios and biros that work on the moon, whilst simultaneously releasing six prog rock concept albums about cyborg goats that live on Mars…

…whilst others barely manage to get up, go to work, and get the kids fed before it’s time for bed?

Well I’ll tell you for why…

The robot goat fetishists have become expert at the following strategies:

 

Oh yeah. I’m such a tease. Sign-up. Become a V.I.P.

See you later!

JJ Jalopy.

How the internet has changed writing.

Hey there!

I hope you’re having a marvelous day.

Consistent with my new mission to reclaim my life after my recent caffeine, computer and a-bit-too-much-work binge, today’s post will be short.

I wanted to share an article with you. Not because it has much to do with what we talk about here, but because I thought it was cool. It’s about how writing has changed as a result of the availability of the internet and, specifically, the blog. It’s something I’ve been thinking about rather a lot recently as I’ve explored the writing styles that I think work best online.

It’s pretty cool. Enjoy.

Article Link: How the Web and Weblog have changed writing.

I’m still working on the new design for the website. I think you’ll like it.

I’m away this weekend in Austria for a wedding, so I expect you’ll get your first look at it next week.

I’m excited…

Have fun! See you later!

JJ Jalopy.

Stop your blog from sucking. And save the world!

Hi there!

Do you have a blog?

(To extract the maximum enjoyment from this narrative, you might want to play along. Even if you currently find yourself blogless…)

Does your blog suck?

No, of course it doesn’t. It’s brilliant.

But even the most brilliant of brilliant blogs can be improved upon a little…

So would you like to make your blog even better?

Of course!  And how would you feel if I told you that you could achieve this with the very simplest of strategies, right now, at home in the comfort of your own pants (or someone else’s if you’d prefer) in 6 minutes a day with a glass of wine in your hand and your cat curled up on your keyboard?

You’d say that would rock, right?

Well, what if I told you could do all this and save the world at the same time?

You’d say JJ, you must have fallen out of the crazy tree. I know you’re totally awesome and everything, you’d say, but I don’t think you could offer us all of that.

And I’d say perhaps not… But I’d like you to meet to very lovely people who can.

They are Darren Rowse from Problogger, and Naomi Dunford from IttyBiz.

They are both very lovely and they both know lots and lots about blogging and small business and stuff like that.

Darren has written an indispensable eBook which gives you 31 simple actions steps towards making your blog really awesome. It’ll take you a month to get through, after which your blog will emerge as shiny as the shiny side of a coin well polished on one side.

If you do the exercises in the book then you will see results. That’s a Jalopyland Guarantee. If you don’t then you can follow me everywhere I go for 24 hours prodding me continuously and yelling I told you so in my face.

And I won’t be allowed to punch you in yours.

Fair?

I thought so…

Now what’s the deal with this Naomi lady? Where does she fit into this grand plan?

Well… the  book costs $19.95 (That’s a total bargain, by the way.) And if you buy the book through her, she gets $10.

And why should you care?

Because Lovely Naomi is not going to keep that $10. No, she’s going to take that $10, give it to Kiva.org and then she’s going to double it.

Yep. You can rock your blog and save lives at the same time.

Convinced?

I thought so. Now… go to Naomi’s blog here, scroll down and click on the bit where she says “This is the Link. Click on it.”

Buy it and change lives.

Rock and roll.

Oh… I should probably make it clear that I make no profit whatsoever from all of this. Im fact, it has nothing to do with me at all. I’m just sharing the love. That’s how we roll in Jalopyland baby!

I’m off to the seaside tomorrow. Chat to you later!

JJ Jalopy.

How to be more productive by doing less stuff.

Hey!

It’s a beautiful sunny day in Londontown and there’s a beer outside waiting for me…

…just as soon as I get my AWESOME Jalopy Gang newsletter finished.

Not sure if I’ve mentioned this before, but it’s totally brilliant.

Reading it makes you instantly cleverer, richer and more attractive.

If you would like to be stupid, poor and ugly then please don’t put your email in the box below.

 

This week the newsletter is better than ever. It’s jam packed with instantly applicable advice on getting client testimonials, and it’s absolutely hilarious if I do say so myself. You will laugh. Oh, how you’ll laugh.

Just to prove it, here’s an article from the newsletter…

 

How to be more productive by doing less stuff.

Most of us spend a lot of time doing stuff we don’t want to do.

We attend meetings that waste our time, we stay late at work because we think it will impress our boss, we hang out Dave and Sue twice a year even though we think Dave and Sue are terrible bores.

Productivity advice is big business. There’s a whole ton of boring books written about how to be more productive. There’s a whole industry devoted to squeezing the maximum amount of work out of a workforce who, in most cases, would rather be doing something else.

Probably the most famous is Getting Things Done, by David Allen.

It’s actually a very good book if you like that kind of thing. (Which I do, a little.)

It’s basically a complete system to help people to do more stuff they’d rather not be doing.

It’s generally accepted knowledge that productivity springs naturally from the fire of passion.

If we’re doing stuff that we love, then we are productive.

Do you need to motivate yourself to play with your kids? Or go fishing? Or go for a beer with a good friend?

No, because we love doing these things. We are passionate about them. At least some of us are.

If we flip this on it’s head, we might conclude that being unproductive results from doing a load of stuff we don’t really want to be doing.

So how to I stop being unproductive? What’s the solution?

Well the solution is to stop doing stuff you don’t want to do.

If you only did what you wanted then you’d get an enormous amount done.

Yeah, but it’s not that easy is it? Some of the crappy stuff I just have to do.

This is true. And it would be grossly irresponsible of me to claim otherwise.

You really should pay your bills. 

You really should do your tax return.

You really should pick up your son from soccer practice. 

There are a number of things that you might not want to do, but you really should to avoid death or imprisonment. 

There are a number of things that you might not want to do, but you really should to avoid being a terrible person. 

Thing is, we’re not always very good at being objective about what we have to do, and what we really don’t have to do but just think we do. (For example, many people will think that I should rewrite that last sentence because it’s ugly as sin, but I won’t because I’m lazy.)

Here’s some stuff that you really don’t have to do.

• You don’t have to hang out with Dave and Sue. They’ll cope. And maybe they find hanging out with you a bit of a chore too. (They don’t, obviously. They think you’re brilliant. But you can see my point.)  
• You don’t have to answer the phone when you’re in the middle of something important. They’ll leave a message. Or they’ll call back if it’s important. It’s okay.
• You don’t have to return all your phone calls.
• You don’t have to reply to all your emails.
• You don’t have to send birthday cards.
• You don’t have to go to valueless meetings just to show your face.
• You don’t have to finish everything you start.
• You don’t have to get up early every day.
• You don’t have to stay in college if you don’t love it.
• You don’t have to stick in a job you hate.
• You don’t have to have a well-paying professional career simply because you paid a lot of money for your degree.
• You don’t have to have goals.
• You don’t have to have a five year plan. 
• You don’t have to live up to other people’s expectations of you.

Aren’t I just going to end up annoying and upsetting everyone?

In order to rid your life of stuff you don’t like doing, you’re going to have to say No a lot. You’re probably going to disappoint people who are used to you behaving in a certain way. 

You might run the risk of people thinking you are a flaky, self-centered, arrogant, egotistical.

But I’m not advocating that you go too far with this. I’m intending this as a re-balancing exercise. I don’t want you to make a religion out of giving stuff up. Don’t make it a total lifestyle decision. Don’t become a selfish idiot.

The key is to create space for the passion to grow in your life by eliminating the shoulds that cause you anxiety and stress, and replacing them with the “work” you love.

The message, summed up in a cheesy alliteration-heavy catchphrase?

Do what you dig. Don’t do what you don’t dig.

See y’all tomorrow!

JJ Jalopy.

SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE: Sign-up for my newsletter. It’s totally brilliant.

Your substitute teacher for the day is…

Hey there!

Yeah, I know.

I’m looking a bit rough today. I’ve had a busy day and I’m bloody knackered. 

(That means I’m tired, my American friend.)

My bed is calling to me like a treacherous Siren.

Be silent – vile temptress of the sea – for I have a blog to write, folk to entertain and educate, babies to hug shirtless and oiled…

Actually, screw that. I’m going to bed!

In my place today will be surrogate blogger extraordinaire Mr. Johnny B. Truant. 

I discovered him recently in my quest to find the greatest writing on the internet as part of my evil networking plan. Johnny has been writing totally awesome guest posts on Naomi Dunford’s totally awesome IttyBiz blog. 

He’s funnier, better looking, far more modest, and slightly more profane than I. 

Here he talks about Marketing for Nice People and punching Ashton Kutcher in the face. Apparently these two activities are not mutually exclusive.

http://ittybiz.com/why-its-nice-to-be-nice/

Enjoy.

I’ll be human again tomorrow!

See you then!

JJ Jalopy.

Operation CommentBomb and the CommentLuv plug-in.

Hey there!

Come on in. I’ve just made a pot of tea.

How are you?

Mrs. Jalopy was up early this morning to go off to a big coaching training and networking event. 

I stayed in and laid in bed ’till the early afternoon…

It was great!

(Yeah, that’s right. There are no kids in Family Jalopy just yet.)

Then this afternoon, before I got dressed, I did some networking of my own from the comfort of my man cave.

Earlier this week, inspired by an awesome book I’d been reading, I revealed the intimate details of an evil plan to get more readers to my website prior to my book launch.

One of the integral parts of the plan involved finding people with blogs that are relevant or semi-relevant  to what I do and are awesome enough to have a gang of enthusiastic followers interested in the kind of stuff I write about.

I’d then comment on their blog in a value-adding, amusing,controversial or plain obsequious manner to attract the attention of blogger and blogger cheerleaders alike.

Then, both blogger and blogger cheerleaders fall in love with the JJ style, come and hang out here in Jalopyland and tell all their friends. Global domination soon ensues.

Cool.

So today I did a few useful things as I sat at my computer, sans pants.

I found the very best writing on the internet in the coaching / consulting / personal development and internet marketing fields, and I commenced Operation CommentBomb.

This intimidated me a little. There’s a lot of fantastically awesome stuff out there. 

But my stuff is awesome too. I hope.

Another cool thing I did was install a thing called CommentLuv on my blog.

This is a really cool plug-in (the technical term is thing) which allows me to reward my JalopyGang cheerleaders by automatically leaving a headline link to their last blog post in their comment.

If you have a blog then add a comment below and see how it works. Be sure to put the URL of your website in the relevant box on the comment form. If you can’t think of anything to say, then feel free to tell me you think I’m brilliant. I won’t mind.

The plan is to get more people active on my blog by making the comments more useful to readers and commentees alike.

Why? Well…

• Post titles are more fun and eye-catching than your name or the name of your website. My awesome readers are more likely click on a link if it’s an intriguing sounding post title.
• I can keep up with my readers more easily.
• Commenters get an extra link to their website in their comments!
• Readers see a selection of posts from people who enjoy the same kind of thing as them.

So, yeah. This rocks, essentially.

And part of my networking operation will involve commenting on a number of blogs with CommentLuv installed. 

For an example, check out the embarrassingly sycophantic comment I left on the blog of Life Coach and supremely talented writer Tim Brownson. 

Why not suck up to me too?!

Get involved!

Speaking of which… thanks for all the praise and feedback about my awesome Jalopy Gang Newsletter. The next issue hits your emailbox tomorrow so sign up below if you don’t want to miss out!

One of my favorite comments came from my friend Jon, who claimed that my latest newsletter (which I thought was a bit rubbish) read the way I sound when I’ve had a few beers.

Probably won’t be including that testimonial anywhere other than this post here! Thanks mate.

Anyway… it’s been a hard day of lie-ins and playing on the internet – so I’m going to head to the sofa now with Mrs. Jalopy, watch TV and eat some Chinese takeout.

Mmmmm…

Have a wonderful weekend folks!

JJ Jalopy.

R-RATED INTERNET MARKETING RANT!

Hey there!

How are you this fine Tuesday evening?

Let’s share a whiskey and light up some cigars. We’re going to get R-rated today.

Sometimes I just love a good rant. 

I’ll admit to being an enthusiastic cheerleader for the benefits of positive thinking, but sometimes it’s a whole lot of fun to unleash a big torrent of uninhibited vitriol into the world.

Sometimes it can even be productive and educational.

I’ll maintain the pretense that this will be the case today. (Really, we’re just here for entertainment…)

Please don’t follow the forthcoming link if you’re easily offended, you have a mother, you’ve ever seen a rainbow, eaten a cupcake, kept a puppy, kept a hamster or were even the slightest bit offended by Janet Jackson’s left nipple.

Otherwise…. here’s a glorious and luxurious rant about internet marketing on the weblog metafilter.com in response to the news that the makers of a popular online advert blocking plugin are considering permitting advertisers to unblock their adverts. 

Highlights below…

You want attention for your goods or services? Make them the best you can. We’ll f—ing find you, ok? Eliminate your marketing department and take all of that money and all of those resources and refocus on making a product that doesn’t suck ass, and we’ll find you.

It was true before the internet in the age of better mousetraps and beaten paths, and is especially true now that “word of mouth” is a global phenomenon. Make good shit. Put up a simple but useful page. Be good to your customers and clients and we’ll find you and bury you in business.

Although I’m not going to agree completely with my angry friend, this actually fits in with my coaching marketing blueprint pretty well.

• Create massive value
• Take advantage of word of mouth marketing and social media in favor of old-school marketing and advertising techniques
• Rule the world!

Hope you’ve enjoyed yourself tonight. Tomorrow we’ll drink tea and talk about puppies and rainbows and little fluffy clouds.

JJ Jalopy.

How to write a super crazy awesome blog post!

How to become a coach. With Coach Mentor Expert JJ Jalopy.

Good evening!

It’s always a pleasure to have you drop by.

You’re just in time! I’ve just put on some coffee.

Chocolate truffle?

Why not! It’ll compliment the coffee perfectly. Dig in.

I hope you had a good day. Mine was marvelously busy. Now I’m pooped, but there’s nothing I’d rather be doing than relaxing and chatting to you.

Yesterday, I introduced the concepts of systems thinking and process optimization and I talked at length about the best way to put a spatula in the dishwasher.

It wasn’t one of my better posts.

But it got me thinking:

What makes a good blog post?

I’m pretty new to the blogging world. (I wanted to say blogosphere, but that’s just so 2006… Probably.)

Yeah. I’m pretty new, so I’m not exactly well-qualified to start dishing out blogging advice.

And it’s true that no-one has actually asked me for any blogging advice.

And I should really talk about Kaizen, as I promised you I would yesterday.

But I’m not going to do that today.

Because I got inspired!

Prepare yourself for… drum roll…. The unsolicited blogging opinions of a blogging newbie!

Or in other words… How to write a super crazy awesome blog post!

Now, whilst I may not have a huge amount of experience writing for the internet, I am reasonably self-aware. I can tell that some of my posts are rather good, whilst others are not quite as good.

This got me curious. I asked myself the following questions:

• What is it that makes some posts better than others?
• What actions can I take to make sure I get more of the good stuff in my future writing?

The main purpose of my writing is to inform and educate you and to build and nurture the relationship between us.

Not all blogs have this purpose. Some are primarily there to entertain. Others are more encyclopedic in nature.

That’s okay. For the remainder of our discussion we’ll assume that we’re talking about informative or educational blogs, like this one.

So, with this in mind, I think that the best best posts have:

• a clear message – this is the informative / educational meat of the post
• a context – a creative way of getting the message across: often using story, metaphor or personal experience.

Let’s look at one of my better posts to illustrate this: http://www.jjjalopy.com/the-jj-identity/

The message is that having a positive identity compatible with your goals can help you to overcome procrastination and self-belief challenges.

Great. You can read that in any low quality NLP textbook.

The real value of the post is in the context. I tell a story from my own personal experience that everyone can relate to. You are receptive to the message because you have identified with the story.

This may lead you to believe that the context is more important than the message. That would be a mistake. The context is simply a supporting structure to the main message. It is there to open you up to the point being made, or to emphasize it in a vivid way so it sticks in your mind.

This post is another good example. The storytelling devices and analogies support the main narrative in a way which vividly emphasizes the main points. It is this context that makes this a great post, but the context is always subservient to the main message.

Make sense?

Good. So why do I think yesterday’s post sucked a little?

Well the context is easy to identify. I’m giving my own experience of how process-based thinking helped me to put pans in the dishwasher and be a less disgusting individual in general.

The message is that thinking of your business and your personal life as discrete systems and processes can be a very useful thing. The post is an introduction to that concept.

This is fine, but in this case, the context overshadows the message.

It became all about the dirty pans!

What was frustrating me this morning was that, with a little bit of editing, I could turn it into a great post!

But I’m not going to. Part of the beauty of blogging is that it is imperfect and fresh and ever-changing.

Besides, this post wouldn’t make any sense if I did!

Another truffle? Go on.. one more won’t hurt!

Now, I want to talk a while on the creative process…

I blog every day. When I wake up in the morning I know I’m going to be writing a post later on that day. Sometimes I will already have a message in mind (such is the case with my series on starting a life coaching business.) Sometimes I won’t.

If I have a message in mind then I’ll make it my intention to come up with a context: a creative way to tell that story. And then I’ll forget about it and go take a shower, go for a walk, read a book, paint the cat…

If I don’t have anything in mind at all I’ll make it my intention to simply come up with ideas for my post. Then I forget all about it and go brush my teeth, go to the gym, watch TV, mow the fence…

I have no idea how this works, but I do know that the subconscious mind is a creative genius.

And brilliant creative ideas are going to pop into my head as if from nowhere as I’m busy dusting the dog.

It’s my job to catch these ideas and mull over them for a while. Sometimes I’ll come up with a great topic to talk about. Sometimes I’ll even make full sentences in my head that I will use later in a post. Sometimes I will think of little analogies or little stories I can use as context for the post.

Generally speaking, I’ll have a clear idea of both the message and the context of the post before I even sit down to type.

Sometimes I’ll have a full outline drawn up before I start writing. That’s when it tends to go really well. Here’s an example…

If I don’t start with a clear idea of the message and context, things don’t go quite so well. That’s what happened yesterday. I started writing about cooking (context) and the message of the post was born out of that. Which is fine, but only if the context doesn’t overshadow the main message of the post.

If there’s one lesson I’m going to take from this little session of narcissistic self-analysis it’s this:

Start writing with a clear idea of the message you want to put across and the context in which you will make the message understood.

Do you have any more advice, JJ?

Well, yes I do actually. I’m so glad you asked. Here’s a brief and incomplete rundown of what I think makes a good blog post.

It’s immediately applicable. If I’m reading a blog to find information, as opposed to simply searching for entertainment, then I want something that I can take away and immediately apply to my life. If I simply wanted raw information I would read an encyclopedia. If I simply wanted entertainment then I would watch TV. I go to a blog because I want to find someone who has solved my problem in a specific way, and I want to find out about it.

It’s authentic. Write in your own voice. Be honest. Don’t pretend to be something you’re not. If you write with emotional honesty then people will warm to you.

Be interesting. Or in other words, don’t be boring! Don’t give me dry information that I could read in Wikipedia. Entertain me in a way which helps your message to get across. Or make me understand in a way which is emotionally powerful. Check out how Richard Bandler uses storytelling to educate. Be like that.

Make it easy for me to relate to you. We learn through association with things we have experienced or already know. I’ll get much more from your post if you make it easy to relate the concepts you’re explaining to things I already understand. Try to explain tricky concepts in the context of common experiences.

Connect with me. There’s a reason that I write this blog as if I’m talking to you. It’s because I want this to be a community in which we’re all involved. I want this blog to be a dialogue between you and I. I want to build relationships through my writing. I come to a blog because I want to be involved in something larger. Make this easy for me. Make me feel involved.

Notice that I haven’t touched on grammar or any of the stuff your English teacher used to talk about at school. In truth, I don’t care so much about those things as long as I can easily understand your writing. I’d rather be entertained, educated, and touched emotionally than impressed with your use of the subjective tense.

Right… enough of my opinionated ramblings. I think it’s time for bed.

Once again, it’s been an absolute pleasure. I can’t wait to do this again tomorrow. Maybe we’ll even get around to talking about Kaizen!

I’ll see what my subconscious mind has to say about it all!

Take care. Have a great night!

JJ Jalopy.
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