Blimey! It’s that time of the week already!

Relax. Pour yourself a glass of your favorite drink. It’s time to talk about our issues. You and me. In a non-creepy, constructive kind of way, without a sleazy old therapist in site.

None of this...

So… Fox News get in touch with you.

They’ve invited you to talk as an expert in your field.

How do you feel?

Excited?

Yeah! Why not?! You’re going to be on the telly!

In fact, for two minutes you’re going to be the most important thing on there! They’ll probably give you free tea and biscuits. You’ll meet famous people and stuff!

It’s going to be great for business too. You’ll write about it on your website or in your newsletters. You can put a little “Featured on Fox News” icon on your website. Admittedly it’s Fox News, rather than a proper News network, but it’ll increase your perceived credibility no end.

Flattered?

Yeah. Damn right.

It’s a pretty hefty shot of validation really, isn’t it?

They want little old you to talk on their big telly box program. They could have chosen Paula Abdul, David Hasselhoff or the guy from the Will It Blend videos. But they chose You; the obvious expert in your field. Give yourself some recognition. You did well.

Panicked?

Umm… Yeah. Most likely.

We’re all scared a lot of the time. You’re likely no exception.

So let me ask you… What scares you about this?

I’m scared of being on TV.

Go on…

I’m scared that I won’t have anything to say.

I’m scared that my face will go all red and I’ll look stupid.

I’m scared that I’ll fall over my words and people will think I’m dumb.

I’m scared that everyone will realize I’m a total amateur.

I’m scared that it’ll go brilliantly and I’ll be in massive demand. I’m scared that everything is moving too quickly and I won’t be able to cope.

Good. Phew. You’re human. I was worried for a second.

We start to freak out when we imagine things happening that we don’t like.

Often we imagine things going really really well for us; so well, in fact, that we won’t be able to cope. We imagine attention and glory coming our way. And then we imagine royally screwing it all up – in front of a ton of people.

We tell ourselves that we aren’t ready for success. We resist success because we think it will cause us pain.

And that’s okay. It’s okay to feel like this.

But it’s not very helpful.

So what can you do about it?

1. Realize that you’re not alone.

Everyone is scared.

Talk to anyone who has achieved any degree of success and they’ll tell you that they were initially terrified by the idea of doing something different. Dig a little deeper and you’ll find that they still get scared, even now.

It gets easier, they’ll say, but it never truly goes away.

You might choose to label it excitement or anticipation, rather than fear, but the feeling will be there. The butterflies aren’t going to go away.

When you’re paralyzed by fear you might look at other people getting by and think you’re the only one that’s scared.

The truth is that what you’re feeling is no different than what anyone else is feeling. There are a whole load of terrified people out there, acting in spite of the butterflies in their stomach.

The secret is that, once you’ve done something once, it’s not quite so scary the second time around.

The New is always a little scary.

But it can also exciting, exhilarating and rewarding. And you’d do well to tell this story to yourself occasionally when you start imagining the one in which everything goes wrong.

2. Realize that no-one is paying you a whole lot of attention.

So there are all these people running around, freaking out and going about their business.

And there are a whole load of other people, sitting on the coach, drinking wine and wishing they could summon the will to make something happen.

There are the people moaning about their neighbor mowing the lawn in the early hours of the morning.

And the people secretly worrying about their partner’s infidelity…

Do you think these people are concerned about you?

Of course not. Most people are too busy dealing with their own stuff to really pay you too much attention.

Try to remember this when you worry about not living up to people’s expectations.

The truth is that they probably don’t have them. And they probably don’t care.

The people that actually are paying attention will be supportive. The ones that aren’t don’t matter so much…

3. Know what you want.

The journey is going to be hard sometimes, so it helps if you know where you’re going and why you want to get there.

Keep the end in mind. It’ll help you get the strength to push through the challenges as they come.

4. Prepare. Consciously increase your confidence.

When you’re scared of success you’re likely to resist that which is in your best interest.

You might choose not to promote or market yourself as effectively as you could because you don’t feel ready for the attention this will bring.

The key is to be pro-active about this. You might want to make a plan to take action to increase your confidence alongside your other efforts.

If you’re a life coach, you’ll gain confidence by coaching. Do it for free if you have to. And do a lot of it.

If you’re a public speaker, you’ll gain confidence by speaking in public.

Make a plan to get the exposure you need to grow your confidence, at a rate that is comfortable for you. This is as important as anything else you do within your business.

What does your plan look like?

Good luck.

JJ Jalopy.

Enjoy the post?

Well why not sign-up to my V.I.P. list and get awesomeness like this in your emailbox every week for free?

You’re definitely V.I.P. material, so put your name and email in the boxes below and press the friendly “Join Now” button.

Crikey! It’s that time of the week already!

Relax. Pour yourself a glass of your favorite drink. It’s time to talk about our issues. You and me. In a non-creepy, constructive kind of way, without a sleazy old therapist in site.

Have you ever had thoughts like this?

Aaaarghhh…What if my business all goes horribly, horribly wrong?

Aaaarghhh…What if everyone realizes I’m rubbish at this stuff and laughs me out of business?

Aaaarghhh…What if I have to listen to my Mother telling me that she always knew I should never have quit my job for the REST OF MY LIFE?!

Aaaarghhh…What if I run out of money and I have to scavenge for food in the trash?

Aaaarghhh…What if I can’t afford to feed and clothe my family and it’s all my fault?

Aaaarghhh…What if….

Fear of failure.

It’s a bitch isn’t it?

It ties you down and stops you from doing the things you love, living your dream and being so happy that you do star jumps in the street and give sweets to strangers for no reason other than it makes you smile.

I want those strangers to have those sweets so we’re going to sort this out – as much as we can – by talking through it together.

We’re going to break this topic down into two main fears (although they’re really one and the same).

• The fear of looking silly
• The fear of starving / dying / your whole life falling apart

Last week we covered the first of these. This week we’re dealing with the second – the fear of losing all your money and having everything fall to pieces.

The And-Then-What? game

What are you afraid of?

I’m afraid that my business will fail.

And then what?

I won’t have any money coming in anymore.

And then what?

I’ll run out of money and I’ll get myself in debt and I won’t be able to pay the bills or buy food for my family.

And then what?

My family will leave me. I’ll have to live in a box and scavenge through the trash for food. I’ll probably get gangrene end up having to hack off my legs with a rusty saw.

Oh dear.

And this discussion was supposed to make you feel better…

The truth is that most of us have had a lot of practice at the And-Then-What? game. And we’ve gotten pretty creative at it.

The problem is that the game is often totally debilitating. It paralyzes us.

We all crave comfort and security.

When we have these freak-out sessions we often want to return to whatever is most comfortable and familiar to us.

Maybe it makes you want to pack it all in and return to the day job you hated – the one that paid you a predictable amount of money every two weeks?

Maybe it makes you want to hide under the bed sheets with a bottle of gin and a box of chocolates?

Maybe it makes you want to watch girly movies for days on end until you’re swimming in a pool of your own tears?

Sometimes, though, it scares us into massive action.

Sometimes the fear of financial ruin scares you so much that you work like crazy, utterly terrified, desperately pursuing every lead like a rabid dog.

Massive action is a good thing.

Ruthlessly pursuing leads can be a good thing, if you’re not too creepy about it.

But being utterly terrified is not. Not for your business. Not for your health. Not for your emotional well-being. Not for your family.

Just not cool.

So clearly, neither of these scenarios is ideal.

So what can we do about this?

There’s really only one thing that will help here…

You need a plan.

Not very sexy, I know, but that’s it.

The plan will give you comfort. The plan will be your safety net.

It’ll show you exactly where you are, where you want to be, and what you’ll do if you’re not getting there.

It’ll give you exact steps to take when things aren’t working out the way you intended. Because you’ll have planned for everything, including the very worst case scenario.

The brilliance of the plan is that you can do all your thinking when you’re calm and rational. This way, you don’t have to do any of that tricky thinking stuff when you’re too busy freaking out.

You just need to follow the plan.

What should this plan look like?

Step 1: Where are you now?

• How much money do you need every month?
• What is your financial buffer? How much easily-accessible money to you have right now?
• How long can you survive on your financial buffer, assuming you’re making no money from your business.

Got that?

Now, your answer to 2 and 3 might be zero. Maybe you’re in debt right now. That’s okay. We’re planning for everything.

Step 2: What are you going to right now to meet your needs?

• Do you need to take a part-time job?
• Do you need to do to reduce your expenses? How are you going to do that?
• Do you need to borrow money?

Step 3: Planning for the worst case scenario.

Think of the very worst case scenario, whatever that is for you.

Got it?

Okay. Now you’ll want to do two things:

• Make a plan to take action that will reduce the likelihood of this scenario occurring
• Make a plan of what you will do if it does occur.

As an example… if your worst case scenario is being sued, losing all your assets and having to declare yourself bankrupt, then you’ might want to look at asset protection. (If you’re in the states then my buddy Rob Northrup can help you out with this…)

You’ll also want to write down the actual steps you would take to get yourself back on your feet if this really happened.

You won’t enjoy doing this, but it will give you peace of mind.

Step 4: Scenario building

Think three months into the future.

If your income level is below $X and your financial buffer is below $Y, what exact actions are you going to take?

Do this with a variety of numbers, and be very specific. Remember, the goal is to have a complete action plan you can follow to the letter.

Now think six months into the future and answer the same question.

Now a year.

Now two years.

And you can stop for now. Phew.

How does this make you feel?

How do you feel about sitting down and making a plan like this?

Do you think it will give you peace of mind?

Are you resistant to it? Does it seem like a chore? Something you probably should do, but are reluctant to?

Please do let me know.

I resisted this kind of planning for a long time because I found it uncomfortable to confront the worst case scenario. Having been through this exercise myself and with others I recognize its power.

Peace of mind really is just a tedious planning task away!

JJ Jalopy.

Yep. It’s that time of the week again.

Relax. Pour yourself a glass of your favorite drink. It’s time to talk about our issues. You and me. In a non-creepy, constructive kind of way, without a sleazy old therapist in site.

None of this...

Have you ever had thoughts like this?

Aaaarghhh…What if my business all goes horribly, horribly wrong?

Aaaarghhh…What if everyone realizes I’m rubbish at this stuff and laughs me out of business?

Aaaarghhh…What if I have to listen to my Mother telling me that she always knew I should never have quit my job for the REST OF MY LIFE?!

Aaaarghhh…What if I run out of money and I have to scavenge for food in the trash?

Aaaarghhh…What if I can’t afford to feed and clothe my family and it’s all my fault?

Aaaarghhh…What if….

Fear of failure.

It’s a bitch isn’t it?

It’s a big heavy bitch that ties you down and stops you from doing the things you love, living your dream and being so happy that you do star jumps in the street and give sweets to strangers for no reason other than it makes you smile.

I want those strangers to have those sweets so we’re going to sort this out – as much as we can – by talking through it together.

We’re going to break this topic down into two main fears (although they’re really one and the same).

• The fear of looking silly
• The fear of starving / dying / your whole life falling apart

This week we’re going to talk about the former.

Overcoming the Fear of Looking Silly

I hate looking silly. Don’t you hate looking silly?

Sometimes the fear of looking silly rings so loud in my head that I don’t do something I really want to do.

Why?

Because I’m worried that I’ll look like a tit. Or I’m worried people will think I’m stupid. Or that they’ll realize that I’m not actually cool after all…

We hate being embarrassed and, naturally, we try to avoid it. (We’re good to ourselves like that.)

This is… that feeling often rings louder inside our heads than the drive to do the thing that we love. And we end up missing out.

Perhaps you’re putting off staring that business doing the thing you love because you’re scared it all go wrong and people will think less of you?

Perhaps you’re putting off really promoting your business because you’re scared it’ll put you in a limelight that you’re not ready for?

This is totally sensible and totally understandable.

But I know it’s not what you want…

I know you don’t want to be a slave to your emotions. I know you don’t want your fear of looking silly to get in the way of doing what you love.

I don’t want that for you either. I think you’re brilliant and I don’t want to deprive the world of your brilliance.

How do we overcome fear of failure?

Well first of all let’s recognize that it’s not the failure or looking silly that you’re scared of, per se. It’s the emotions associated with these things. It’s the desire to avoid guilt, shame, or any other emotion that you think you’ll experience that is stopping you from taking action.

Yeah. Great JJ. Thanks. You just changed some words around. Is this supposed to make me feel better?

Well yeah. Kinda. Because it now pushes the issue back within your control.

Although it might not always seem this way, you create the emotions you experience. And by changing the way you interpret the world you can change the emotions you experience.

So many people will give you useful reframes. If you think about failure in a different, more positive way, they say, then you’ll feel better about it all.

Some powerful reframes that you’re probably fed up with hearing about

1. Failure is really just feedback.

Most successful businesses were pre-ceeded by a stream of attempts that didn’t quite work out the way they were intended.

When people talk about this they usually mention Thomas Edison, who made six zillion shitty light bulbs that didn’t work before he stumbled across the final design. If he’d given up along the way then we wouldn’t have America’s Got Talent, they say, as if this were a bad thing.

If you find something that doesn’t work then you’re really one thing closer to something that does. You don’t have to try that thing again. It didn’t work. See? A useful learning experience.

2. The only way to fail is to not try your best.

It didn’t work out, but you worked hard and you did your best? Well you can be bloody proud of yourself.

(This one came from Tony Robbins.)

3. Your business is really just a project.

This is a powerful frame that my mentor, Kevin Hogan, introduced me to. The idea is that what you call your business, that thing you do, is really just a project.

You’ve had projects before and you’ll have projects in the future. You’re trying one out at the moment. It’s not really a big deal if it fails because it’s only a project. Your Mother-in-law might not be so smug about telling you you should never have left your job if she knows it’s just a project.

Clever, isn’t it?

If you can truly convince yourself to believe these reframes then these will help you enormously.

But here’s what to do when you can’t convince yourself of the above

Most likely you won’t buy into these reframes in the short term. You might have heard a hundred times about Thomas Edison’s thousand attempts at a bloody light bulb, but rationalizing to yourself that failure is a valuable feedback mechanism can be somewhat of a stretch when you’re right in the middle of your little freak-out storm.

And whilst it might be empowering to believe that your little business is just a project.

Just try telling this to your body when it’s gripped by panic.

It probably won’t listen. In fact, it’s more likely to yell back at you “shut up Tony Bloody Robbins. I’m too busy freaking out to listen to your feel-good mind-trick crap right now.”

And then it’ll carry on freaking out.

If you’re anything like me you don’t want tricks, techniques or advice when you’re in one of those moments. You want gin. Or Valium. Or more furniture to throw at the wall. The value of a well-placed reframe is not obvious to you mid-meltdown.

So go easy on yourself. Realize that, despite your best efforts, you’re not going to think your way into a position of unlimited self-esteem straight away.

Or ever, really…

So learn to recognize the emotions that you’re running away from and accept that it’s okay to feel them.

It’s okay to worry that your business is going to fail and you’ll feel ashamed. It’s okay to worry that the person you’re about to call about a joint venture is going to be dismissive of you and you’ll feel embarrassed.

It’s okay. We all feel like that sometimes.

Allow yourself to feel what you feel. And stretch out in whatever way you can. You don’t need to “get over it”. You don’t need to jump out of your comfort zone. Just do what you can do right now. Stretch a little, if you can. Next time will be easier.

So how do you feel?

I hope you got a little something out of that. It made me feel better anyway! ?

Join me next Saturday for another installment. We’ll be talking through the fear of having to feed your family with scraps of half-eaten food you stole from the trash. Or something.

Take care!

JJ Jalopy.

P.S. Look. This was really bloody long. I love you lots and lots for reading this far and I hope you enjoyed what you read.

I’d like to invite you to sign-up to my V.I.P. list. You’ll get free email awesomeness just like this delivered straight into your emailbox every week, except when I’m horrendously hungover.

You can even reply to the email and talk to me. We’ll probably end up best friends. Put your name and email address in the boxes below if this sounds like something you would like!

Happy Fourth of July!

I had planned to write this post last weekend.

I had also planned to send out my awesome and much-hyped (by me) Jalopy Gang Newsletter to my beloved V.I.P. list.

Instead I sat on a beach in the South of France for about 12 hours in the blistering heat and drank enough premium French Lager to kill a horse. (And a burly, hard-drinking one at that.)

Don't ask...

Predictable results ensued.

I am never going on another bachelor weekend again.

So… I’ve been away for a while. This post almost didn’t happen. Newsletter awesomeness didn’t manifest. And God wept.

But NOW I’m back….

And it’s time to talk about our issues. You and me. In a non-creepy, constructive way with no seedy old therapist bores in sight.

None of this...

The introductory story about the man with no name.

An unnamed client recently came to me to ask for help in promoting his business on the internet.

(He’s doesn’t actually have no name. He has a very lovely name, in fact. It’s just that I’m not telling you what it is.)

He has a small but successful offline business, and he’s looking to expand his marketing efforts online. Good for him. This idea gets the Jalopy Seal of Approval. (You can have one too for a small donation into my Paypal account.)

He’s getting a website designed. It looks pretty flash. It’s even made of Flash.

That’s a cool looking website, I said. Do you have a blog?

No. I don’t want a blog, he replied.

We’ve spoken about blogs before, me and he. He knows that I believe that the blog is the pinnacle of awesomeness when it comes to non-pushy, value- and relationship-focused internet marketing. This is true for a million reasons I have bored him with previously, and a million reasons that I’ll explain to you in my forthcoming product How to Use the Internet as your Faithful Marketing Love Slave.

So I stared at him blankly until he elaborated.

I don’t have time to maintain a blog, he replied.

The reason you don’t do something is rarely because you don’t have enough time. If something is important enough to you, you’ll make time for it.

<<Blank stare>>

<<Silence>>

I don’t have anything original to say.

What I have to say is boring. People won’t be interested in that.

And I don’t write very well.

And I’d run out of things to talk about.

And I don’t like putting myself “out-there” so personally. What if everyone realizes I’m not as much of an expert as I’d like to pretend? What if everyone realizes I’m weird or thinks I’m a screw-up?

Great. Now we were actually getting somewhere

So let’s talk these through together, one by one…

Hello. My name is

Objection 1 – I don’t have anything original to say.

We started to address this in our first small business therapy session.

It’s not true that everything worth writing about has already been written about by someone.

But it nearly is.

So does that mean you can’t write about it too?

Must every point you make be completely and totally original? A unique and perfectly-formed gem of knowledge spawned from your mind only?

Of course not!

What’s important is that you say what you have to say, in your own voice, at the right time.

In doing that, you’ll change lives.

Don’t believe me?

Okay. Have you ever heard something that you’ve heard a hundred times before, but for some reason, this time you hear it, something really clicks?

Why is it that the same information, presented slightly differently, only sunk in when you heard it described in a certain way, by a certain person?

It’s because that person was able to describe it to you in a way that you could uniquely relate to.

There are people that need to hear what you have to say. From you.

And you owe it to them to be yourself, to tell your story, to spread your knowledge.

Next…

Objection 2 – What I have to say is boring. People won’t be interested in it.

Yes Sir. I'd love to read your NASCAR blog.

There are many massively popular blogs that I find mind-numblingly tedious.

What does this tell us?

Well… it either means that I’m a poor judge of blog quality…

…or it tells us that different people like different stuff.

Have you ever done any random, un-targeted web browsing? (You should. It’s an excellent procrastination aid, if nothing else!)

If you have, then you’ll know that there’s a huge amount of unoriginal, pointless, yawn-inducing stuff out there. And it’s very very popular.

Which means that there must be a whole ton of people who like unoriginal, pointless, yawn-inducing stuff.

Or rather, a whole load of people who like the stuff that I think is unoriginal, pointless and yawn-inducing.

Someone will like your boring stuff. I promise!

Now, maybe you’re worried that no-one will show up to read your blog?

That’s a different issue. And a largely practical one.

Getting people to read your stuff is largely a function of how well you promote it. If you promote it well, people will come. And even if I might think it’s tedious, irrelevant and unoriginal, other people will not. They’ll visit and they will return.

There are more than enough weirdos on the internet for your weird blog to have a weird audience of its own.

There. Doesn’t that make you feel better?!

Next…

Objection 3 – I don’t write very well

I know how this can feel.

I love good writing. I’m attracted to some of my favorite blogs predominantly because of their unique and creative writing style.

Sometimes, when I’m reading a beautifully written blog such as www.copyblogger.com, a little voice appears in my head – the one that says:

JJ – you’ll never be this good. Why don’t you just give it up?

And part of that voice is correct. I probably will never be that good. I probably could be, were I to really work at it, but that’s not my focus.

Sometimes my ego and my desire to be the best at everything stops me from remembering why I am blogging in the first place.

I’m not blogging to become a great blogger. Or even a great writer.

I’m blogging to help people to succeed with their small home businesses. I’m blogging to help people leave their day jobs and do something that inspires and excites them. I’m blogging to promote my services and forthcoming awesome products.

Well yes. Indeed.

The best writing style for a blog is a conversational tone. Imagine your average reader is in front of you and talk to them as a friend.

If you can write the way you talk when you’re having a coffee or a beer with a friend then you’ll be a great blogger.

Next…

Objection 4 – I’d run out of things to talk about

I strange and wonderful thing starts happening when you start writing.

Ideas seem to be born out of nowhere.

You’ll be writing a post and you’ll get ideas for five more. If you make it your intention to come up with ideas for blog posts and then go about your day, you’ll be surprised at how many great ideas pop into your head.

Give it a try.

Next…

Objection 5 – I don’t like putting myself “out there”. What if everyone realizes I’m not as much of an expert as I’d like to pretend? What if everyone realizes I’m weird or thinks I’m a screw-up?

Ah yes.

You’re going to be writing about yourself and you’re scared that people might find out that you’re not perfect.

Yeah. Makes sense. Because we love people who claim to be perfect, don’t we?

We really connect with them, don’t we?

We feel so appreciated and understood when we’re around someone who says they’ve never made any mistakes in their lives, don’t we?

You see where I’m going with this…

Good.

Your story will give someone hope. Your story is the reason people will finally understand what they haven’t been able to understand so far from anyone else.

Your story is the reason people are there, reading a blog and not an encyclopedia.

Be honest. Be yourself. Rock the world.

<<Deep breath>>

That was good. I enjoyed that.

It’s been lovely. See you tomorrow!

JJ Jalopy.

P.S. If you enjoyed that then you might want to sign-up to my V.I.P. list. You’ll get an email newsletter every week (except when I have heatstroke.) Sign-up now and get it tomorrow!

That you’re the only one struck by huge crises of confidence.

That you’re the only one too scared to pick up the phone, go to that event, make that decision.

You might look at successful people and say to yourself:

What’s the matter with me? These people never worry that they’re not good enough. They never wake up at 2:00 AM in a cold sweat wondering where the money is going to come from and whether they’ll be eating their left arm for dinner next week.

And this makes you feel alone.

You are not alone.

You are not alone.

You see, most people who are in the business of dispensing business advice have a vested interest in you thinking that they have their stuff together. In adopting a position of authority, they depend upon social proof and the illusion of expertise, credibility and success to maintain their personal brand.

The result? They are unlikely to share their worries with you. They are unlikely to reveal that they, too, still suffer from crises of confidence now and then.

You might come to the conclusion that successful people just don’t freak out.

There is also much emphasis placed upon positive thinking and positive communication these days. If you go on Twitter, you’ll be inundated with messages of positivity, inspirational quotes and reminders to live every day like it’s your last!

It’s nice, and can be just what you need at times…

…but when you’re freaking out, thinking that you’re a total failure and wishing you could give it all up right now, then these people’s well-intentioned messages of inspiration feel like needles poking into your brain.

To paraphrase Russell Brand, it’s like being beaten over the head with a freaking rainbow.

Seize the day, they say!

Grab that sword, confront your fears, and slay that dragon of fear like the fear slaying dragon killer you were born to be, they say.

And you feel like you’re the only one (understandably) too busy throwing your own pity party to go anywhere near that bloody sword.

I can’t, you say. I’m throwing myself a big pity party. I feel hopeless. I want empathy, not vague “motivational” platitudes.

Feeling sorry for yourself is a waste of your energy, they say.

So you pick up that sword and shove it right into their gullet.

This makes you feel better.

But we don’t need to go maiming people with imaginary swords to feel better about all this. The fact is that, all of us feel unconfident sometimes and all of us freak out sometimes.

So, every weekend for the next few weeks, we’re going to have a little small business owner therapy session, here within the safe walls of our our home here in Jalopyland. We’re going to try to meet these issues with understanding and talk them through together.

Like therapy. But with no tedious old men.

Hopefully it will be helpful to you. Even if it just makes you feel grateful that you’re not as screwed up as me!

People are already doing it better than me!

You might have done all the market research in the world. You think you know what you’re doing.

Then… BOOM!

Here comes the crisis of confidence.

You’re worried that you’re not good enough.

Or rather, you wonder why you should carry on when other people are already doing That Thing You Do better.

There are many life coaches who are so much better than me, you say. Why would someone go to me when they could hire Mr. SuperCoach down the road?

There are many people who are much better writers than me, you say.

There are many people who are more confident or charismatic than me, you say,

There are many people who are more knowledgeable, or have more experience than me, you say.

Here’s what I say….

It doesn’t matter.

People don’t come to you for your expertise, success, experience or knowledge.  They don’t come to you because you’re the shiniest, greatest, or the most successful.

They come to you because of the way you make them feel.

Don’t believe me? Let me give you some case studies…

Where I go for lunch.

I spend a lot of time in a town called Watford, just North of London, UK, doing business consultancy work.

I like to get away from the office at lunchtime and go and sit down to eat. There are many places I could go for lunch. Many of them part of a big successful chain of restaurants, some of them small independent places.

My very favorite lunchtime venue is a small Lebanese restaurant called Nana’s Bakery.

Yum!

I don’t go there because it’s the most convenient for me. (I have to walk down a busy, unfashionable main road to get there.)

I don’t go there because it’s the cheapest.

I don’t go there because they have the best food in the world (although it is pretty good!)

I don’t go there because they are well-known or because I’ve heard about them on TV.

I go there because they make me feel welcome. I go there because I get a big friendly welcome every time I walk in the door. I go there because they know my name, they give me free tasters of dishes they’re trying out, they invite me into the kitchen to show me how they make their flatbreads.

I go there because they are my kind of people.

And they’re always very busy because many other people feel the same way.

Now, if they had given up simply because there were already successful restaurants in the area, or similar small ethnic restaurants in the area, then my lunchtime would be a sadder affair.

Where I go for my blogtime.

If I want to read about health and meditation I go to www.anthonylemme.com

In fact, I go there even when I don’t want to read about health or meditation because I like hanging out there.

I could learn from Deepak Chopra, or some other heavily made-up guy who sits on Oprah’s coach.

You can never be too enlightened for eyeliner.

But I read Anthony.

Even though his website looks like crap.

Even though he’s not yet as well known as many of the other people I could learn from.

Why?

Because I like the laid back vibe.

Because I like that reading Anthony’s stuff feels like talking to a friend.

Because I like that he talks about rock and roll, sex and meditation all in the same sentence.

Because I like the emotional experience I get there.

So what can we learn from these examples?

We learn that there is absolutely room for you, because you are You.

So, other people are already doing That Thing You Do?

That’s great! Because it tells you there is a demand for that thing. And there’s always a room for another voice, another point of view, a slightly different experience.

What people want most of all is to feel understood, to feel connected, to feel part of something.

To be successful you need to provide a consistent emotional experience that will be appealing to a certain group of people

As a small business, you are in a unique position to connect with people by being authentically you.

And you’re #1 in the world at that!

Okay, but are people really going to pay me for my services just because they like me, when they could go hire someone better?

Um, yeah. Kinda.

Not everyone wants the best in the world, and not anyone can afford the best in the world,

There is a place for you. I promise.

Some silly questions to finish

What would have happened…

… if The Beatles had given up because they thought they could never be as good as Elvis?

… if Beethoven thought he could never be Mozart, so didn’t even bother?

… if Rihanna thought she could never be Britney?

(Okay, maybe scrap the last one…)

See you soon!

JJ Jalopy.

Did you like this?

Of course you did! Sign-up to my V.I.P. list to get awesome stuff like this in your email box every week. Add your name and email address below.