Yes. I realize that, as surprises go, my re-appearance on my own blog is not going to rival any of the really big ones, like Scary Spice making babies with Eddie Murphy or Ellen getting hitched to that bird from Ally McBeal, but I have been away a little while and I’ve missed you.

That’s why I brought you cake.

Let there be cake!

So what’s up? How’ve you been?

I see the talented and beautiful Coach Kalpna has been taking good care of you in my absence.

(And if you missed it, you’ll probably want to read her wonderfully-crafted article on how to screw up your personal branding. Then, after you’re suitably impressed with that then you’ll might want to read this article about dealing with worry on her blog.)

Now, in my absence, thousands of emails arrived in my email box in the past week.* And it has been the same question every time. Rabid fans, hungry for some JJ wisdom, have been asking this question in droves. It’s the same question I get every thursday night when chess club overruns and I return home at three in the morning in a drunken stupor with an octopus around my neck…**

Where on earth have you been, JJ?

I’ve been up a mountain.***

That’s right.

Sometimes a man needs to climb a mountain.

As it happens, that man was not me but a friend. Sometimes an unforeseen emotional and spiritual crisis strikes and the only logical course of action is to embark upon an ill-prepared camping trip up a mountain in the Lake District.

If this here blog were more literary in nature then I would wax poetic about the rugged landscapes, the waterfalls, the lakes, the mists encircling the mountain tops…

But I like to talk about learning here. So please allow me to describe…

Three lessons learned atop an English mountain in the rain

1. The only Zen you’ll find on the Top of the mountain is the Zen you bring up there

Okay. This isn’t exactly a learning of my own.

It’s a quote I lifted from Robert M. Pirsig’s Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. (Great book, by the way.)

Makes me sound wise though, I reckon.

Next…

2. When your Dad tells you “Look Son. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about hiking it’s to put all your belongings in a bin bag (refuse sack) inside your rucksack if it starts raining, otherwise all your stuff will get wet, and not having dry stuff to put on when you’re wet isn’t much fun” and you think “that’s a good idea, but I probably won’t do it because it sounds like a lot of effort and my stuff probably won’t get THAT wet” then you really should ignore that thought and just do what your Dad suggested anyway, otherwise you’ll end up with a load of wet stuff that makes you feel sad.

Which brings us onto…

3. When someone limps into your hotel, soaking wet, carrying a rucksack with tent attached, they probably won’t mind being sold to.

This is the bit in which I appear less than heroic. But also the bit in which I make a semi-relevant point about marketing.

As it turns out, you see, it wasn’t really camping weather. If the wind had abated awhile then we might have had a fighting chance of getting the tent up, but it wouldn’t have stayed attached to the ground for long.

At least that’s the story I told myself as I craved a nice warm bath and a beer in the hotel in the nearby village.

So, with tent on back, we headed back down the mountain in the pouring rain towards the village.

Now it also turns out that my left knee isn’t really a walking-down-mountains kind of knee. In fact, it’s more of a crunch-and-grind-and-make-me-grimace-and-scream-with-every-step kind of knee. (Yes, I am a true athlete.)

So when I arrived at the hotel in agony, cold and soaking wet, I would have gladly liquidated the children’s college  fund (if such a thing were to exist) to pay for a room in that hotel.

The receptionist was an angel. She reassured me that:

“Yes, I do indeed have rooms free. And here’s a room key. Why don’t you go have a nice warm bath and then we can check you in properly when you’re warm and relaxed? And if you leave your rucksack here we can get your clothes dried for you and up to your room within the hour. And would you like a table for dinner? You don’t look like you want to be walking very far.”

I happily said Yes to all of the above and gladly paid an extortionate amount of money for the service, but I would never have asked for it because my focus was simply on sliding into that lovely warm bath water.

Sometimes someone wants what you provide so much that they are thankful when you try to sell it to them. This is especially true when they haven’t yet realized that they would want it.

This might be worth thinking about next time you worry about “up-selling” or being “a pushy salesperson”.

Just sayin’.

JJ Jalopy.

* This might not, you know, actually be true.

** This entire paragraph may exist only because I think I’m funny and not, in fact, as a result of its resemblance to the truth.

*** This bit, and the rest of the post, really is true. Honest.

Enjoy that?

Well why not sign-up to my V.I.P. list and get awesomeness like this in your emailbox every week for free?

You’re definitely V.I.P. material, so put your name and email in the boxes below and press the friendly “Join Now” button.

Hey! I’m on sabbatical up a mountain. I’ll be back in a couple of days. In the meantime, here’s a guest post from my beloved Mrs. Jalopy. It’s brilliant. Make sure you let her know!

Hi there, Kalpna here – you know, Coach Kalpna (if you don’t know, come and see me here!)

I’m a big fan of JJ Jalopy and when he asked if I would guest write a blog post I went through a flurry of emotions. First there was the flattery – little me being asked to write on such a cool blog? Yes please! Then there was that feeling that I just couldn’t do it. For one, what would I write about, what would people think, what if I didn’t add any value? Argh.

There’s a lot to tackle there, but today I’m not going to write about confidence boosters or how best to write a blog. That’s not really my job and in all fairness, I’d probably not be able to give the sort of constructive and loving advice that JJ provides in his oh-so-humorous style. Instead I’m going to share with you a story that gave me some learning.

I attend a fair few of these networking events and Coaching for Coaches days. I get to hang out with some people from my profession and we exchange stories and lessons and generally help each other out. I went to a full day seminar a few months ago. There were coaching professionals from all spheres of coaching. I met a lovely lady who helps people with their lives and their wardrobes – I think she probably has friends who are color therapists. I met a man who taught me that although men have more neurons in their brains than women but that women’s brains are able to make a larger amount of connections along nerve cells than men. Apparently this information could help change the face of coaching between the sexes. It was fascinating and mind boggling all at the same time!

What I was really looking forward to was hearing from a smartly dressed lady who was going to talk about brand identity. I’d been given a glossy brochure beforehand showing her immaculately dressed with a smiling, friendly face and a few perfectly scripted words about her, her company and her specialism. I couldn’t help but think, “Wow, what a great brand she is for herself!” I’m not ashamed to say that I was feeling like I was going to meet someone with a celebrity status.

So with a bounce in my step and with high expectations I entered the lecture theatre. Within minutes the lady within the pages of my brochure was stood in the auditorium talking about brand identity. She talked about the importance of a brand particularly when you are your own brand – which is the case for the majority of coaches. Everything that she said was spot on. I learnt the importance of nurturing your brand and being the brand and conducting yourself to support your brand in every single interaction. She was good. I liked it. I knew she was on to something. And in my eyes she had credibility. She was walking the walk and talking the talk.

Much like JJ’s friend Dave, the guy who doesn’t buy life coaching, I need convincing before buying into something – whether that be a physical purchase or just buying into a theory or idea. This lady was oozing credibility, she appeared trustworthy and was adding real value to me. What’s not to like? If she’d been selling something, I’d have bought it right then and there!

On my way out of the auditorium I couldn’t help but join the small group of people waiting to talk to her. I just wanted to give my thanks (and, OK, the celebrity stalker in me really wanted to meet her!). She engaged herself in a couple of brief conversations with the waiting people and finally turned to me, to look right through me whilst handing me her business card. Not one word, no eye contact, no acknowledgement. She just turned to talk to someone else.

In that moment the immaculate, friendly image I had of her disappeared with a poof. All the good feelings I had about her vanished. Her brand essence disintegrated in my mind. I felt cheated and a little bit stupid.

I walked away thinking that she was a bit of a fake.

OK, I admit, that’s a strong reaction to have to something that might have a really simple explanation (maybe she needed the loo, maybe she was hungry, maybe she was in a rush, maybe she didn’t like the look of me…) But rejection can hurt, and our opinions can only be built on the information we have available. Your customers are likely no more compassionate in this regard.

As JJ would say, her incongruence was the smelly carpet in her branding.

What is yours?

What on earth is that? You’d be entitled to ask.

And, to be honest, I don’t really know.

It’s some kind of holistic therapy involving waving specifically colored silks over the patient’s body or directing colored light onto the body with the aid of a light box and some colored lenses.

So, yeah, its a bit out there.

An aside: For those of you willing to write this off as a total waste of time, remember that a very important part of the therapy process is the care and attention that the therapist pays the client. So yeah – the light stuff is obviously a load of hooey, but that doesn’t mean that the therapy as a whole has no merit.

Now, the main problem that a color therapist has with marketing her services is the same one that a Law of Attraction Coach or a more esoteric alternative Life Coach would have.

I call it…

The “What The $&@£ Is That?!” factor

If you own a business that makes people ask What The $&@£ is That? then you’re going to want to work a little harder to overcome the immediate objections a potential customer might have.

Remember Dave, the guy who doesn’t buy life coaching?

Dave’s main concerns are:

• He doesn’t want to look stupid
• He doesn’t want to other people to think he’s stupid
• He doesn’t want to waste money.

These concerns shout even louder in the mind of the person considering color therapy or anything involving past lives, aliens, wind chimes or touchy feely magical stuff  (The “Law” of Attraction.)

So what’s the antidote to all this doubt?

Bucket Loads of Social Proof

That’s right. Social Proof.

LOTS of it.

You want to overwhelm your potential customer with evidence that:

• lots of other people do it
• lots of other people have had great results with it
• other people are proud to talk about it
• other people were skeptical but took a chance and were happy with it
• their friends won’t think they’re weird if they do it
• it is acknowledged and accepted as okay by the mainstream.

So…

You want loads of testimonials from real, live people from different walks of life.

You want testimonials from people who were really skeptical but ended up getting a lot out of your service.

Ideally you’ll have been mentioned in the mainstream media and not just Granola Times. You want to make this obvious to your potential customer.

You want to a collect bucket load of evidence that your service is legitimate, accepted and valued by other people.

Got that?

Good. Now we’re at square one and we can start talking about the benefits…

See you soon!

JJ Jalopy.

Have you got a crazy woo woo business? Cool. Tell me all about it in the comments. You crazy hippie freak.

It’s been a while, hasn’t it?!

I’ve been busy doing….you know, stuff. You still love me, don’t you?

Phew.

I must admit I was a little worried.

Right… so what are we going to talk about today?

We’re going to talk about Dave.

Who is Dave, you say.

Dave is This Dude. He’s in a bit of a rut.

Dave is married to a lovely girl named Judy. Dave loves Judy and Judy loves Dave. But they rarely keep the neighbors awake at night anymore.

Dave is an accountant. He’s a big important one and he wears a suit to work everyday. He’s handsomely paid. His wage easily pays the bills as well as satisfying his desires for shiny red sports cars, Judy’s expensive taste in shoes and bags, and the kids’ vodka habit.

Unfortunately, Dave’s job bores him to tears.

Dave reads self-development books, reads through the exercises, thinks it would be a good idea to do them…

…then opens a Bud and sits down in front the football.

He wonders why he feels so pulled towards the sofa.

And he decides he could do with a partner in his effort to improve his life. He decides he could do with a supportive kick-up the butt. His thinks about the life coaching sales letter you dropped through his door.

Life Coaching could be just thing I need to help me get out of this rut, Dave thinks.

So he pulls your sales letter out of the trash, brushes off the old banana skin, and re-reads your letter.

It’s a good letter.

Dave feels understood. He feels hopeful. He feels like you could be the one to help pull him out of his rut.

He grabs the phone and starts to dial your number…

…and then he stops.

Why does he stop?

What makes Dave, hungry for your life coaching expertise, put the phone down and switch on America’s Top Model.

Fear.

That’s what.

Fear of what, you say?

Many things, my fine friend. Let’s address a few of them.

Dave doesn’t want to feel dumb.

Dave bought a new cellphone last month.

It’s a great phone. He can order pizzas on it with one flick of the finger. He can read www.jjjalopy.com on it on the way into work. That’s how good it is.

The salesperson told Dave that he’d need insurance.

Dave didn’t want insurance. He had heard that cellphone provider insurance is a rip off.

I don’t want insurance, said Dave.

No, you’ll definitely need insurance, said the salesperson. It covers you for everything under the sun. And you never know, do you? Here, I’ve added it onto the contract. You’ll need it, but you can cancel it in a month if you change your mind.

Dave didn’t argue.

But when he got home he felt dumb. He felt betrayed. He felt like he’d been sold.

Every time Dave has an experience like this, his mistrust grows.

When Dave reaches for the phone he thinks about how dumb he’s going to feel when he falls for that trick again.

And we all like feeling dumb, don’t we?

Yep. That’s my point.

Dave doesn’t want other people to think he’s dumb

A couple of years ago Dave got involved in a get-rich-quick style multi level marketing scheme.

He was pretty excited about it all and eager to offer “investment opportunities” and packs of overpriced vitamins to his friends and family.

This is a scummy pyramid scheme, his friends said.

No, this is different, he replied. This is a genuine investment opportunity. Look at this glossy brochure. Look at these graphs. Look at these testimonials. Look at these income projections.

It was a scummy pyramid scheme.

Dave felt like an idiot again. His friends were happy to confirm this assessment.

When Dave reaches for the phone, he thinks about his friends at the pub telling him that life coaching is a waste of money. He thinks about his friends telling him that life coaching is for wimps and hippies.

Who cares what they think? Dave says to himself.

But the truth is that he does care. And he’d love to be able to trust his instincts on this, but he doesn’t. He puts down the phone.

Dave doesn’t want to waste money.

Dave has bought a lot of rubbish in the past.

It didn’t seem rubbish in the shop but it certainly did once he’d got it home.

Dave doubts his judgement a little bit more every time this happens.

When Dave reaches for the phone, he thinks about all the bad purchasing decisions he’s made in the past. He puts down the phone.

….

Oh dear.

It appears that Dave had been kicked around a fair bit by unscrupulous business folk in his time.

This means that you are going to have to work extra hard to gain his trust. If you give Dave any reason to mistrust you, however small it may be, then the game is over.

So how do you get Dave to buy?

Here’s how…

Address his concerns

At the very least, you’ll want to bring his attention to each of these concerns and provide reassurance on each point.

Prove your trustworthiness

Be human. Include a photo on your sales letter and/or website. Tell stories from your own personal experience. Tell Dave you share the same concerns that he might have. Make it clear that you treat your clients or customers with the utmost of respect.

Establish credibility

Include testimonials from real people with real names, real faces and real businesses. Tell him with whom you’ve worked previously. Show him any qualifications you might have, awards you’ve won, or relevant impressive achievements.

Provide value

Is there anything you could help Dave out with right now? Perhaps you could include some valuable self-development tips in your sales letter or website?

What can you do to demonstrate that you can help Dave without any financial commitment on his part?

Start a conversation

It’s likely that you’ve done all of the above but Dave still isn’t ready to splash out just yet. He wants your coaching, but he still has doubts and he needs more reassurance.

Make it easy for Dave to keep in touch with you.

Put your phone number, website URL, Facebook or Twitter details on all your communication, online and off.

Provide regular useful relevant helpful content on your website and other media. Demonstrate your brand identity, trustworthiness and credibility in everything you write. Make it easy for Dave to learn from you, and to learn what a fine trustworthy person you are.

Make it easy for Dave to give you a way to keep in touch with him

In ideal world you want to collect Dave’s contact details so you can keep in touch with him and ensure that this conversation happens.

So make it easy for Dave to give you his email address, home address or phone number. Make it easy for Dave to subscribe to your blog, follow you on Twitter or be your Facebook buddy. Maybe you could bribe him – in an ethical way, of course – by offering him some free stuff if he gives you his details?

Got that?

Good. Now it’s up to you to carry on the conversation and demonstrate your trustworthiness and credibility.

Dave is most of your customers. How are you going to reassure him?

JJ Jalopy.

Enjoy that?

Well why not sign-up to my V.I.P. list and get awesomeness like this in your emailbox every week for free?

You’re definitely V.I.P. material, so put your name and email in the boxes below and press the friendly “Join Now” button.

Twitter for Marketing

What is Twitter?

The press tell you it’s all the rage.

“The world is all a twitter”, they say.

All the cool young kids (MC Hammer? Mr. Demi Moore?) are doing it, they say.

But what actually is it? And why should you care?

Apparently it’s a microblogging platform.

I have no idea what that means, but it doesn’t seem very bloggy to me.

I see it as a really easy way for people to send messages to one another without any of the awkwardness of talking on the phone or the formality and structure of email.

It’s great for small talk. Great for networking. And as a business or a one-(wo)man-brand it’s great for building social proof and establishing your brand in the mind of your customers.

You send messages out into the ether and people can choose to listen to them, or not. Similarly, you get to choose whose messages you want to listen to.

Sounds a bit odd, but it makes sense. So why should I devote any of my time to it? I’ve got enough on right now thank you very much.

That’s a good question. I know your time is precious. I know you’ve got a to-do list longer than a really long piece of string.

And I don’t want to add to that list if it’s not going to make your life easier, your time more productive or your business more profitable.

The good thing is, used correctly, it should help you achieve all of the above.

How so?

Well let’s think about the journey that a stranger has to take to go from guy-on-the-street-you-wouldn’t-recognise-from-Adam to raving fanboy – the guy who buys everything you ever produce and tells all his friends how much you rock (heck, he probably has your face tattooed on his arm.)

Following our discussion the other week about permission marketing, let’s pretend your customer’s journey looks like this.

1. He notices you.

2. You ask for his permission to carry on a dialogue.

3. He gains trust in you.

4. You make him an offer. He buys some stuff.

5. You grow your relationship by carrying on doing what you agreed.

This is by no means the only marketing strategy you might use. In fact, many of your customers may well jump straight in at step 4. But let’s run with this for the sake of making our discussion nice and simple. Read this post for some background on this model.

So what I think you want to know, my beautiful small business owner, is..

How is Twitter going to help me do these things better?

I’ll tell you for how…

Step 1: Your customer notices you.

This first step is often the most difficult for new business owners.

You have a Really Cool Thing that You Do, but no-one seems to know about you or your Cool Thing.

How do you get our stranger to find out about you?

Well… you could find out where he hangs out and stick an advert in his face. You could run adverts in a local paper or a relevant trade magazine. You could buy a mailing list and send out letters. You could buy adverts for relevant keywords on Google Adwords, or buy advertising on a popular website.

These are all valid and relevant marketing techniques. Generally, however, they cost money. And it’s best to avoid spending too much money when you’re just starting up.

So what’s the alternative?

Well… if we can provide the content or information that our customers are already looking for then you can be sure that these people are going to tell others about it.

The best way to get the word out about Your Thing is to have other people get the word out about Your Thing.

It just so happens that Twitter is one of the quickest, easiest and most efficient ways to connect with a large number of people with similar interests or groups of people with similar problems that you can help solve.

You can connect with people, help them out with their thing and they will be more than happy to talk about you. It’s an excellent way of building social proof and getting Your Thing in front of more people’s eyes. (Yes, I know.)

So now the news of Your Thing is buzzing around the Twitterverse. Our stranger (let’s call him Adam) is no longer quite such a stranger. He’s heard all about you. And he’s paying attention. What’s the next step?

Step 2: You ask for his permission to carry on a dialogue with him.

You want Adam to agree to hang out with you some more.

Twitter facilitates this process in a number of ways.

Firstly, if he likes your stuff he might choose to follow you on Twitter. This means he has agreed to see the messages you write. You, in return, might choose to follow him back, and you might choose to communicate directly with him if you wish.

Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, Twitter makes it easy to direct interested people to relevant and targeted information on your blog or website, by sending messages with links to pre-selected content. This is free, helpful, totally non-creepy and it doesn’t look like marketing.

Even better, other people will happily share the links to all their followers if they like it. And guess what their followers are going to do if they like it?

If that doesn’t make you pee your marketing pants and squeal with joy, I’m not sure what will.

Of course, your web page is optimized to make it easy to collect Adam’s email address, isn’t it?

Good.

Adam now follows you on Twitter and is a subscriber to your email newsletter. Perhaps he’s even your Facebook friend now.

I think he’s made it clear that he won’t mind hearing from you again! ?

What’s next?

Step 3: He gains trust in you as you deliver on your promises

Adam followed you on Twitter because he wanted to hear your pearls of wisdom. Or maybe you told a dirty joke and he kind of liked it.

Either way, Adam expects you to act in a certain way and deliver a certain emotional experience to him.

Do this. Consistently.

You can use messages on Twitter to send links to interesting content on your blog, to videos on YouTube, to useful and relevant articles on other blogs. You can do this much more often and much more informally than you could via Email. Send someone an Email every day and it will piss them off. Send ten messages a day on Twitter and people will not bat an eyelid. (I don’t want to get into Twitter best practice in this post, but here’s a quick word of warning. Twitter is, above all, a sharing medium. People will respond badly if you appear only to be promoting yourself.)

If you’re useful, friendly and, above all, consistent Adam will grow to trust you.

Step 4: You make him an offer. You buy his stuff.

Twitter makes this easy, as it gives you the power to publicize your offers to a large group of interested people. It also makes it easy to bring Adam to your blog, website, or wherever you want him to go.

Step 5: You build the relationship by carrying on doing what you agreed.

This is where a lot of people get the wrong idea about relationship marketing.

Relationship marketing is all about “creating authentically meaningful connections”. It’s about sharing. It’s about personal attention, trust, feelings, rainbows and fluffy bunny rabbits. It’s about campfires, acoustic guitars and singing Kumbaya. Right?

Umm… No.

Sorry.

It’s about selling stuff.

(The clue is in the marketing bit.)

You don’t buy an iPod because you played online Boggle with Steve Jobs and he knows about your niece’s swimming medals. You buy it because makes you feel cool and it does what you want it to do.

Relationship marketing is about consistently satisfying the initial promise you made to the customer.

It doesn’t involve a huge amount of small talk. It doesn’t involve getting to know every one of your customers on a personal level. You don’t need to know their children’s names, their shoe size and the intimate details of their relationship with the pool boy. You might want to, but it’s not necessary. Probably a fantastic procrastination technique though!

Relationship marketing is about focussing on customer satisfaction and retention. It’s about delivering a consistent emotional experience to your customers.

Basically… Make your stuff cool and do what Adam wants you to do.

Twitter helps this process immensely as it provides you with an excellent way to get your name and your messages in front of your customers’ eyes on a regular basis.

Convinced?

Great. In this post we focussed on why you should care about twitter. If you want to know more about the basics of Twitter, how it works and how to get the best out of it then check out this excellent article from the Remarkablogger website.

Then, once you’re up to speed, we’ll talk strategy!

I can’t wait.

See you around!

JJ Jalopy.

How to follow me on Twitter

As Dave pointed out in the comments, I’ve been banging on about making it easy for your readers to give you permission to talk to you but then totally failed to tell you how to follow me on Twitter. D’uh.

I’m @jjjalopy. You can find read updates here. Go there and hit the follow button. Then send me a message and I’ll follow you back. Otherwise I won’t notice you and I’ll just assume that you want me to join a pyramid scheme or sell me viagra or something. And that would be a shame.

Hey there!

How are you today?

Mrs. Jalopy and I have just had pizza.

And chips.

And wine.

And chocolate.

It was wonderfully delicious.

I have a appointment with my friend and health coach Anthony Lemme tomorrow. We’re going to talk about my diet. I have a feeling that he’s going to tell me that pizza, chips, wine and chocolate are bad for me. And he’s probably going to recommend that I cut down.

So I’m indulging in a semi guilt-free binge beforehand.

Shhh… Don’t tell!

The useful bit starts here!

If you have a coaching service, then you may encounter objections when you offer your coaching services to prospective clients.

In fact, you’ll begin to hear similar objections again and again.

This is natural. Coach can be a large expense for many people.

Now, I know your coaching service totally rocks, but we can’t expect everyone else to know that straight away.

So here are some really simple strategies you can use to help your prospective client see past a few of these objections and open themselves up to the idea of coaching with you.

Objection 1 – I can’t afford it.

Strategy 1: What is the cost of NOT achieving the goal? What is most likely to happen if you don’t hire me.

Yes. It can be quite a lot of money for some people.

But let’s look at the cost of not hiring a coach. What do you think would most likely happen if you continue on as you have been?

How will you feel about this in 6 months’ time?

Strategy 2: What would make it worth it?

Perhaps we should create a bigger goal. What could you achieve that would make it worthwhile?

Objection 2 – I’ll have to think about it / I’ll have to ask my partner about it

Strategy 1: Identify underlying concern

Of course. I understand this is all new to you.

And I sense that there’s something your worried about that we haven’t discussed. Could you think what that might be?

Strategy 2: Talk them through the thought process or the conversation they will have with their partner

What questions will you ask yourself?

…or…

What questions will your partner ask?

Objection 3 – I could just do it by myself

Strategy 1: What you’ve been doing so far hasn’t been working

How long have you been thinking this way?

And what results have you been getting?

Strategy 2: Working as a team can be fun

How do you think working together with me on your goals might actually be a lot of fun?

Strategy 3: Cool sports dudes have coaches, you know…

Do you think Roger Federer/ Tiger Woods / Lewis Hamilton  would be as successful without their coaches?

Now you have some strategy, go out there and get some clients.

See ya tomorrow!

JJ Jalopy.

Happy Fourth of July!

I had planned to write this post last weekend.

I had also planned to send out my awesome and much-hyped (by me) Jalopy Gang Newsletter to my beloved V.I.P. list.

Instead I sat on a beach in the South of France for about 12 hours in the blistering heat and drank enough premium French Lager to kill a horse. (And a burly, hard-drinking one at that.)

Don't ask...

Predictable results ensued.

I am never going on another bachelor weekend again.

So… I’ve been away for a while. This post almost didn’t happen. Newsletter awesomeness didn’t manifest. And God wept.

But NOW I’m back….

And it’s time to talk about our issues. You and me. In a non-creepy, constructive way with no seedy old therapist bores in sight.

None of this...

The introductory story about the man with no name.

An unnamed client recently came to me to ask for help in promoting his business on the internet.

(He’s doesn’t actually have no name. He has a very lovely name, in fact. It’s just that I’m not telling you what it is.)

He has a small but successful offline business, and he’s looking to expand his marketing efforts online. Good for him. This idea gets the Jalopy Seal of Approval. (You can have one too for a small donation into my Paypal account.)

He’s getting a website designed. It looks pretty flash. It’s even made of Flash.

That’s a cool looking website, I said. Do you have a blog?

No. I don’t want a blog, he replied.

We’ve spoken about blogs before, me and he. He knows that I believe that the blog is the pinnacle of awesomeness when it comes to non-pushy, value- and relationship-focused internet marketing. This is true for a million reasons I have bored him with previously, and a million reasons that I’ll explain to you in my forthcoming product How to Use the Internet as your Faithful Marketing Love Slave.

So I stared at him blankly until he elaborated.

I don’t have time to maintain a blog, he replied.

The reason you don’t do something is rarely because you don’t have enough time. If something is important enough to you, you’ll make time for it.

<<Blank stare>>

<<Silence>>

I don’t have anything original to say.

What I have to say is boring. People won’t be interested in that.

And I don’t write very well.

And I’d run out of things to talk about.

And I don’t like putting myself “out-there” so personally. What if everyone realizes I’m not as much of an expert as I’d like to pretend? What if everyone realizes I’m weird or thinks I’m a screw-up?

Great. Now we were actually getting somewhere

So let’s talk these through together, one by one…

Hello. My name is

Objection 1 – I don’t have anything original to say.

We started to address this in our first small business therapy session.

It’s not true that everything worth writing about has already been written about by someone.

But it nearly is.

So does that mean you can’t write about it too?

Must every point you make be completely and totally original? A unique and perfectly-formed gem of knowledge spawned from your mind only?

Of course not!

What’s important is that you say what you have to say, in your own voice, at the right time.

In doing that, you’ll change lives.

Don’t believe me?

Okay. Have you ever heard something that you’ve heard a hundred times before, but for some reason, this time you hear it, something really clicks?

Why is it that the same information, presented slightly differently, only sunk in when you heard it described in a certain way, by a certain person?

It’s because that person was able to describe it to you in a way that you could uniquely relate to.

There are people that need to hear what you have to say. From you.

And you owe it to them to be yourself, to tell your story, to spread your knowledge.

Next…

Objection 2 – What I have to say is boring. People won’t be interested in it.

Yes Sir. I'd love to read your NASCAR blog.

There are many massively popular blogs that I find mind-numblingly tedious.

What does this tell us?

Well… it either means that I’m a poor judge of blog quality…

…or it tells us that different people like different stuff.

Have you ever done any random, un-targeted web browsing? (You should. It’s an excellent procrastination aid, if nothing else!)

If you have, then you’ll know that there’s a huge amount of unoriginal, pointless, yawn-inducing stuff out there. And it’s very very popular.

Which means that there must be a whole ton of people who like unoriginal, pointless, yawn-inducing stuff.

Or rather, a whole load of people who like the stuff that I think is unoriginal, pointless and yawn-inducing.

Someone will like your boring stuff. I promise!

Now, maybe you’re worried that no-one will show up to read your blog?

That’s a different issue. And a largely practical one.

Getting people to read your stuff is largely a function of how well you promote it. If you promote it well, people will come. And even if I might think it’s tedious, irrelevant and unoriginal, other people will not. They’ll visit and they will return.

There are more than enough weirdos on the internet for your weird blog to have a weird audience of its own.

There. Doesn’t that make you feel better?!

Next…

Objection 3 – I don’t write very well

I know how this can feel.

I love good writing. I’m attracted to some of my favorite blogs predominantly because of their unique and creative writing style.

Sometimes, when I’m reading a beautifully written blog such as www.copyblogger.com, a little voice appears in my head – the one that says:

JJ – you’ll never be this good. Why don’t you just give it up?

And part of that voice is correct. I probably will never be that good. I probably could be, were I to really work at it, but that’s not my focus.

Sometimes my ego and my desire to be the best at everything stops me from remembering why I am blogging in the first place.

I’m not blogging to become a great blogger. Or even a great writer.

I’m blogging to help people to succeed with their small home businesses. I’m blogging to help people leave their day jobs and do something that inspires and excites them. I’m blogging to promote my services and forthcoming awesome products.

Well yes. Indeed.

The best writing style for a blog is a conversational tone. Imagine your average reader is in front of you and talk to them as a friend.

If you can write the way you talk when you’re having a coffee or a beer with a friend then you’ll be a great blogger.

Next…

Objection 4 – I’d run out of things to talk about

I strange and wonderful thing starts happening when you start writing.

Ideas seem to be born out of nowhere.

You’ll be writing a post and you’ll get ideas for five more. If you make it your intention to come up with ideas for blog posts and then go about your day, you’ll be surprised at how many great ideas pop into your head.

Give it a try.

Next…

Objection 5 – I don’t like putting myself “out there”. What if everyone realizes I’m not as much of an expert as I’d like to pretend? What if everyone realizes I’m weird or thinks I’m a screw-up?

Ah yes.

You’re going to be writing about yourself and you’re scared that people might find out that you’re not perfect.

Yeah. Makes sense. Because we love people who claim to be perfect, don’t we?

We really connect with them, don’t we?

We feel so appreciated and understood when we’re around someone who says they’ve never made any mistakes in their lives, don’t we?

You see where I’m going with this…

Good.

Your story will give someone hope. Your story is the reason people will finally understand what they haven’t been able to understand so far from anyone else.

Your story is the reason people are there, reading a blog and not an encyclopedia.

Be honest. Be yourself. Rock the world.

<<Deep breath>>

That was good. I enjoyed that.

It’s been lovely. See you tomorrow!

JJ Jalopy.

P.S. If you enjoyed that then you might want to sign-up to my V.I.P. list. You’ll get an email newsletter every week (except when I have heatstroke.) Sign-up now and get it tomorrow!

Today we’re going to do some coaching math. (Put an S on the end of that if you feel like being British for the day.)

Don’t worry. It’ll be nice and easy. And I’m going to hold your hand every step of the way and tell you that you’re doing great.

So… let’s pretend my star mentoring client and imaginary blog sycophant Life Coach Marjorie comes to me with the goal of making $100,000 a year from coaching next year.

Superstar Life Coach Marjorie!

That’s a good goal.

Marjorie’s a great coach. She’s the best, in fact.

But without a concrete plan showing how she’s going to make that money, it’s unlikely that Marjorie is going to wind up achieving her income goal simply by being brilliant.

Thankfully, Marjorie and I are a great team. She’s a life coaching superstar, and I’m an annoying guy who makes her write dates and numbers on piece of paper until it looks like some kind of plan.

And this is a good thing. Because the plan is going to show Marjorie how she can go from zero to $100,000 a year.

So we write $100,000 at the top of our piece of paper. This is our target. We brainstorm how we’re going to get there…

My regular coaching rates are $200 a month, explains Life Coach Marjorie.

Great.

I think I can probably maintain 10 clients a month on average over the year, she goes on to say,

So let’s write that down (pretending that taxes, expenses and other undesirables don’t exist…)

10 Coaching Clients per month @ $200 = $2000 per month = $24,000 per year.

Cool.

But it’s not quite $100,000 yet.

Marjorie could try to reach her goal, by doing on of the following:

• coaching 50 people a month
• increasing her rates to $1000 a month

Fortunately, Marjorie is smarter than that.

And she has been listening to me when I harp on about the value of producing information products to support her coaching service. She thinks it would be a good idea to write a small downloadable eBook on goal setting.

I do too.

This downloadable book will:

• provide a nice customer entry point for people who aren’t yet ready to stump up the $200 for Marjorie’s coaching
• increase her credibility and establish her as an authority in the personal development / coaching field
• make her money

Marjorie thinks she can write the 20 page book and get the design and distribution sorted out in a month.

She’ll sell it as a $19 download. She estimates that 40 people will buy it every month.

40 eBooks per month @ $19  profit = $760 per month = $9120 per year

That’s pretty good going for a month’s work.

Marjorie thinks she has another book in her. This one is going to be a larger, more comprehensive affair. It’s a manual for housewives who want to get back into work.

She thinks she’ll be able to write it and get it on the market in 3 months. She’ll sell it as a $69 download, with an option to pay extra postage for a printed version. She thinks she’ll sell 20 copies a month.

20 Printed Books per month @ $69 profit  = $1380 per month = $16,560 per year

As Marjorie is the greatest coach in the world, she thinks it’s only fair to impart some of this magic on other coaches. She decides to record a CD program with recordings of real coaching sessions. She takes on a few new coaching clients at reduced rates on the agreement that she may record the sessions. She asks her friend’s son to edit the sessions on his computer. She arranges for a fulfillment house to manufacture and distribute the CDs on her behalf.

This takes 2 months.

She sells the CD program for $150. Due to the small expected volumes it costs $15 to manufacture and ship the CD sets. She expects to sell 10 CD sets a month.

10 CD Programs per month @ 135 profit = $1350 per month = $16,200 per year

And if we add this up we come to:

Total projected, 6 months into plan:  $65,880 per year.

So far in our plan we’ve covered 6 months. Marjorie is well on her way to reaching her target next year.

We’ll stop here, but Marjorie might want to go on to write some new eBooks, start a subscription service, run tele-classes or produce another high-end physical product (or two.)

All of these will provide extra income. The introduction of new customers via an increased channels will result in more repeat business, and many of the numbers above can be expected to grow.

This is an interesting model to play with and think about and it’s a good basis upon which to build a plan…

…but don’t believe the numbers in this example. We’ve made some pretty huge assumptions here. All products have a limited shelf life and there are many other costs which have not been considered in the model.

I think the most interesting thing that comes out of this is the realization that the one-one-one coaching model is not very scalable. I’d advise everyone, coaches or otherwise to be on the lookout for ways to supplement their income. This is where the money lies…

Be creative. You rock!

JJ Jalopy.

P.S. If you’re interested in more thinking along these lines, you should check out Andrea J Lee’s awesome book Multiple Streams of Coaching Income.

If you get it using this link here, I’ll receive enough money to buy myself a lovely cold beer. And that would be nice, wouldn’t it? Especially on a summer day like this. Go on… I’m a happy drunk, I promise…

People are rarely looking for more information. In fact, often they feel overwhelmed by the sheer volume of information at their fingertips.

They are looking for exactly the right information at the right time. And they are looking to have it pre-approved by someone they trust.

Do you satisfy this need for your customers?

Have you established trust with your customers?

Do you keep your customers’ problems in mind at all times?

Do you filter relevant and helpful information, share it with your customers in a consistent way, and let your customer know you’re helping them out?

Good! Well done you.

See you in Monte Carlo, you lovely information filter, You.

JJ Jalopy.

It’s great to see you again.

This is going to be a quick one today, because I have to go and pack my suitcase.

Tomorrow I’m flying to Monaco for a long weekend. It’s (yet) another bachelor party….

I’ll be sure to bring a massive Toblerone back for Mrs. Jalopy!

Now… I’ve talked before about the power of making constant small incremental improvements in your business. (Kaizen, baby!)

The big consulting houses have made a living out of this for years.

If you can make 10 processes 10% more efficient then you’ll make 10 gazillion times more money.

Or something.

Now it’s rare that I set myself up as a positive role model on this blog… but today I took a small step towards increasing the number of people that turn up at my (virtual) door, and I’d like to encourage you to do the same.

So what did I do?

Simply, I introduced a new channel by which people can find me. I took out an advert.

So what could you do? How you could you increase your leads?

Why not pick one of the following:

• Put an advert on Craigslist
• Hand deliver sales letters in your local area, or mail them to a list relevant to your business.
• Start a blog!
• Write a new blog post. (It has been a while, hasn’t it?!)
• Start Pay Per Click Advertising on Google
• Make Google love you a little more (SEO) by:
  • creating a Squidoo lens or Hubpages space, linking to your website
  • highlighting some of your keyword phrases in your web pages or posts.
  • adding some internal links within your website to the pages you want people to visit the most.
• Buy a banner advert on a relevant website.
• Comment on relevant industry blogs. Or join the discussion on a relevant internet forum. Be unique and add value.
• Record a video and post it to YouTube.
• Go Viral! Create an awesome thing linking to your website. Give it away for free. Encourage others to do the same.

Go on. Pick one and do it today. Google will tell you how, if you’re not sure!

Or ask here. I love questions.

See you soon. Take care!

JJ Jalopy.